God Had A Dream

God had a dream that if he became human he could bring us all back to him.  On this night, God became flesh, because grace needs flesh and flesh needs grace. What a wonderful night, where God showed that he loves us so much that he would do anything for us. God lowered himself so much that he became human, and even the lowliest of humans. Imagine God, our savior and king, as a baby. If we fail to realize that we are a loved and blessed people, then we are missing everything. It's all about love, and maybe a dream... a dream that is still possible.
Merry Christmas

I Hate This Feeling

It's Christmas, so you would think I would be overjoyed to be home.  I am in all honesty, but one thing keeps coming up in my mind that keeps bringing me down.  Since I am young and therefore stupid in a lot of ways, a current relationship keeps bringing me troubled thoughts. I guess troubled wouldn't be the best word...I really don't know what to call it, but I can't stop thinking about it.

Being away grom home for seven years has not been easy. For a lot of that time I had a significant other which made life more enjoyable. If there is one thing I learned from that relationship it is that if your futures don't seem to be matching up  maybe you need to rethink the whole situation.

Each time I come home I see more and more how much my family misses me and needs me. I see my future bringing me home, for lots of different reasons. My grandparents have a farm that I would like nothing more then to live on someday and all of this "someday" talk is quickly approaching.

So here is the problem... this person who I have been talking to for a while and building a relationship with has no desire to leave her home and her family. They do not neee her like my family needs me and her family can travel a lot more easily then mine can. I feel like I am making it a competition of whose family is more important.

Since we are both justified by our desires to be with our families do we just call it quits right now to save the heartache or keep pushing on?

I wish I had some answers... this is not what I wanted to be worrying about on Christmas.

Merry Christmas and glory to the newborn king!

American Christians

The single greatest cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.

This is the quote that started off a video I watched about four college guys from Texas that traveled around Europe talking about what it truly means to truly be Christian.  None of them were Catholic as far as I could tell.  One went to college at Georgetown, which doesn't mean anything as far as Catholicism is concerned anymore.  They talked about topics that go through my head every day... mostly things concerning the above quote... how to follow Christ.
At the end of the day, American Christianity, with the multitude of churches and the simple fact that if you don't agree with one pastor you can just find another, leaves most Americans that call themselves Christian lacking a whole lot.
I am proud to be Catholic, with faith rooted in Scripture and Tradition that was passed down from Jesus Christ, through his disciples and now through our Bishops and priests.  Every answer I have sought, the Catholic Church has had an answer.  When will Americans, and Europeans, start asking the right questions?

Peace

Almost Halfway Done and the World is Opening

We're not quite halfway through the school year.  A couple more weeks, then finals, then a long awaited visit home.
I have, for all intensive purposes, gone into this school year planning on it being my last.
Don't get me wrong... I love the students, love the school, like most of the people and find the city livable... but I am ready for something new.  I have become stagnant in many ways.
In trying to bring Christ to my students I have flat-lined.  They know me well enough and have heard enough of my talks that there is little I can say to impress them anymore.  It is almost to the point that I feel like I need to leave for their betterment with the hope that new blood will help spur the fire that I hopefully kept kindled from those that were here before me. 
I have my own desires of what I would like to do after this school year.  Still, I am not set on them and being open to anything I believe is the best way to go into my future.
With my consecration to Jesus through Mary a few short days away, I am hopeful that Mary may give me some guidance on how I can start to become the best friend and follower of her son.
And wouldn't you know it, I found a theme song for my upcoming big day of consecration.

Peace all

Music and the Moments Lost

I love how music can have such a force on us.  One song can take me back to memories from long ago.  Another song can take me a place I have never been but only dreamed of.  Other songs can take me to a different time, a different era.
When I first heard this song all I could think about was when life was simpler.  When people had to actually work in order to live.  I don't know why it did.  A scary feeling, but one I miss at the moment.  I miss it because, it was one of those moments you get only once, when you listen to a song for the first time.

Where the West Wind Blows~ Green River Ordinance
-the acoustic version

Peace all

Busy, Busy, Busy... Mary and Crappy Confessions

I realized that I have not written anything in a while.

With one sport ending and another beginning, along with two retreats in 2 weeks, I just have not had the time to think about "blogging" a whole lot.

I am currently on a mini, self-retreat I guess you would call it to prepare myself to consecrate my life to Mary.  Daily readings and prayer has become a new routine in my life all focused around what it means to give my life over to Mary, the Mother of God, so that she can do with me what she wills, which is the will of God.  I figure this is the best time to do it.  My retreat will end on the eve of the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception, with me hopefully making my consecration on the day of the Solemnity.  Quite frankly I am a little scared/nervous to be doing this.  I know one the stronger desires that has been growing in my heart is the desire to become a saint.  As I have read a few times now as a part of my retreat, there is no quicker way to sainthood then to give your life over to Mary.  At this point in my life I figure "why not?"  I am young, have nothing tying me down anywhere except for the desire to be closer to my family.  Since I seem to fail at making decisions for myself, why not let Mary start leading me.  

Also, today I went to confession.  There was a wedding just getting over as I arrived so I had to wait a while to go into the church.  For the first time there was no line and I was immediately next up.  My hopes were high for a good cleansing.  I was quickly brought back to earth however.  As I confessed my sins, the priest simply said my sins were forgiven.  He absolved me and that was it.  No act of contrition, simply a penance to perform and that was it.  I left feeling almost cheated, but as I sat down I remembered some of the more import things that I had learned and in turn taught to many students.  The lackluster priest made no difference... it was Christ, working through the priest that forgave me of my sins and has washed me clean.  It is the power of Christ, not the words of the priest that is the most important.  Just another reminder that people may often let us down, but God never will.

Peace all 

Love and Soul Mates

I wrote this to a friend... and I actually liked what I wrote, so I figured I should share it.

As far as someone leading me in my faith... I don't want that.  I have always been the pusher in my relationships, or at least the one that was defending the faith.  It was nice talking to you and not having to defend my faith and what it stands for.  I don't think I should ever need one person to pull me along in my faith... that is something that I should do.  St. Paul never had anyone... most saints didn't have anyone but God when I think about it.  Sure, they had help at times, but it was always God that was pulling, not another human being, unless you count Jesus.  So I would like someone to walk with me, wherever they are in there journey.  My journey is mine and God's.  I trust in God to keep pulling me, and oh how he does! (we both know that)

As for soul mates, well, my soul, along with every other persons, longs for God.  If there is someone out there who can bring me closer to God, then I would consider them my soul mate.  Sure I have a list, who doesn't?  Its what is discovered that is beyond that list that makes dating exciting!  Someone may fit the list perfectly but if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.  I know that I can never love another person perfectly, as no one can love me perfectly.  We're human, no relationship is going to be perfect.  A relationship can only be perfect in how well the two stay focused on Christ.  As Psalm 146 says, I will put my trust in God, not in humans when it comes to all things.  I also really hope that 7 men do not have to die before I can find my wife, should that be God's will.

Peace all!

Going Backwards... and Why It Frustrates Me

When it comes to life and living as a good Catholic young man, I fail quite often.  Not huge fails usually, just the little ones that are unfortunately somewhat a part of who I am.  I know I'm not perfect.
The little failures do not worry me most days.  It's the big failures, the ones where I am flat on my back, where I am at my lowest of lows, that cause me the most trouble and I do do my best to avoid them.
You might be thinking "well duh!"... and I would agree with you.  Except part of me feels like I need these big failures.  I need to be brought back to earth sometimes and my big failures do that quicker then anything else at the moment.
Why do I bring all this up?  I failed recently... and it got me thinking... and I hadn't written in a while... I felt like I needed to put these thoughts "on paper".

I gave into temptation. I was pushed to the edge... I fought it... but in the end I gave in... I lost the battle... I failed.
Because of this failure this became my morning; I got up, ate, fiddled around, prayed a rosary while kneeling next to my bed, then went to Adoration and then mass.
If I had not failed the night before, this would have most likely been my morning; I would have got up, ate, watched a stupid show on Netflix, fiddled around and then shown up to mass right as it was starting.
This is one of my biggest problems!  I would not have done those good things to bring me closer to God if I had not done something bad that took me farther away from God.  The more I think about it the more pissed off I get.  Why does it take me failing for me to do things I should be doing anyways?  Why can I not strive to always grow closer to God? Why does it take a falling back for me to want to keep going forward?   Do I have this level that I am trying to maintain?  Why can I not get it into my head that that is the wrong way.  There is no level to how close I can be to God.  It is a never ending journey but one I only take seriously when I have drifted backwards and then feel like I need to catch up.
When we train properly for things, we strive to get better each day.
...I'm not doing that.
Goals are set in place so we can work toward them and not fall back.
...what is my goal?  I have a difficult time answering that unfortunately.
I want to be a saint... but I am doing a shitty job of working toward that goal right now.  It shouldn't take failure to motivate me to work harder for my goal.
I need help Lord.

What Should I Have Done?

I appreciate it when a priest takes his time and shows true reverence when celebrating the liturgy of the Eucharist.  Don't get me wrong, it used to bug me when I thought that priests were just dragging out the mass as long as they could... just to torture me of course.  Now, I look forward to the long pauses and simple slowness that some priests still share with the congregation.

The guest priest at our all school mass did just that today.  I loved it... but I was one of the few.

I feel embarrassed to talk about this, but I feel like I should.  

While the priest elevated the host, and then the cup, I heard a student behind me whisper "hurry up... hurry up and drink it G-d dammit"

Shock was my initial response... then anger.  Those words completely took me away from the holy sacrifice of the mass.  I stood there thinking "what should I do?", all the while acting like I had not heard the words that started to seem like they were whispered into my ears only. 

I kept thinking about. I wanted to turn around and do or say something.  I imagined it was Satan who was working through this poor young man.  I wanted to yell out "get back from Satan!!!"  at the top of lungs with all the furry I imagine Jesus had as he said those words to Peter.

Yet, I did nothing.  I tried to pull myself back into the mass and the sacrifice that was laid on the altar before me.  I said a prayer for the young man while fighting off the urge to pummel him.

This continued to bug me the remainder of the mass... it still bugs me now... I cannot lie about that.  

What should I have done?

What can I still do?... is maybe the better question at this point.

Peace

A Sign?

Okay, this is actually probably ridiculous, but I felt like sharing it.
While assistant coaching my cross-country team today I found something.  Standing in the middle of a park, with only grass and trees around, one would not expect to find anything too terribly interesting.  Luckily, if I learned anything from my father, it was how to find things that most people walk right past.  So what did I find?  A quarter.  A bright, shiny quarter simply laying in the grass.  How it got there, only God may know... but I found it and that's just the start.  What do you think I found as I looked over this quarter?  Well, I immediately new, from the buffalo skull on the backside, that is was a Montana state quarter.  If you know me at all, you would know that I have a desire to return home, to be closer to my family and friends.
So, do I take this as a sign?  Not really.  I don't think God gives signs quite like this one, but I still think its cool... and I'm keeping the quarter!

On another note, I added to my work load today.  One of my wooooonnnderful students asked me if we could do something at school for the Year of Faith.  I figured since I knew nobody else at the school would be doing anything, that it would be up to me.  So, I sent out an e-mail to all the faculty and staff at school announcing to them that from now on, every Thursday, during both lunching, I will be holding a discussion/study/learning opportunity focusing on Lumen gentium, Gaudium et spes and the Catechism of the Catholic Church... maybe not in that order though.  I know with the Holy Spirits help we can make this a success... I just pray I can at least look like I know what I am talking about.

Peace all!

Emotion Overload

I love weddings.  It brings me so much joy to see two people in love with each other... and amazingly, I do not even think I feel much envy because it does give me so much joy to see others happy.  Sitting through a wedding ceremony is something I will never get tired of.  The reception, maybe... but the ceremony... never.
I was lucky enough to attend the wedding of one of my friends from college this weekend.  The wonderment of leaving the desert started off the grand trip and deluge of emotions that would become my weekend... but don't worry... I'm not a crier.
The smile that spread across my face as I looked out the window of the plane onto the colors of a mid-west fall was, well, similar to the one I have now as I think about it... only a lot bigger.  Breathing in fresh, slightly crispy-cool air for the first time in long time... well, it still gives me shivers thinking about it.
Feeling completely blessed to be where I was at the moment... I hadn't felt that in a while.  That feeling didn't go away until I landed back in the desert... but I digress...
Seeing friends, laughing, chatting, leading the congregation at the ceremony mass for the responses (at least that is what a friend told me I was doing), just all of that made for a weekend where I felt truly blessed by God and happy to be me.  I was relaxed and myself with my friends... I even made them laugh a bit I think.  Holding on a bit too long with the hugs was something I was not afraid to do.  I won't even talk about the sadness of saying goodbye because I am still riding the joy of seeing them all.
On top of all this, I got so see my brother and his wife, whom I had a wonderful conversation with.  God just showered me with blessings!
Then, as if it couldn't get any better, I got to be the guest of my campus minister friend at his high school.  Daily mass, adoration and a campus ministry office full of high school kids helped the smile stay on my face as long as it could.
God truly blessed me with a wonderful weekend and all I can think about is getting back there... seeing my friends, seeing seasons and experiencing a true fall and winter... ahhhh... I miss it too much already.

  Then I remember... its not what I will, but what God will's.  

My only prayer is for God to give me some direction... any direction... and please... please... may it be out of the desert... I don't know if I can do another year.

Pax

 

One of those GOOD Confessions

I had one of those good confessions so many people talk about but I had never really experienced before yesterday.  I swear the priest could also be a psychologist the way he picked my problems apart and then had me think about and analyze them so I could really get at the root of my issues.
Going over the usual, my constant fights with temptation and the envy I still hold toward others, I brought up another problem I have, which is gossip.
Being around high school kids, pretty much all the time, I fall into gossip easily.  This has never really served me well, and really only causes me despair to hear how rampant sin is among high school youth (even though I know it is, it feels better not to hear about it I guess).
So, the big revelation is this... I see the not so good things in my students, and also coworkers, which I reflect back onto and see in myself, which causes me despair which, hence, causes the desire to gossip and make myself feel better in a twisted sort of way.
So what does all this mean...?
Drum roll please...

(the skinnier part is something I am also working on... but I digress)

Have I ever actually loved who I am and how God made me?  When I actually think about it... no, not really.  I have always been able to find faults within myself, because, I have always had some integrity (which is a word I had forgot about until Father brought it up also).  I have never been able to live up to my own standards which has prevented me from truly loving myself.
What does all this mean?  I cannot really tell at the moment.
I need to start loving the person God made me to be, start living my life with the integrity that I have always held myself to and see the good in others and not the bad.

I guess, put simply... I need to love... in all aspects and facets of what love means.

Pax all

Temptation

I had a tough start to my day on Thursday.  Falling into temptation is never a good thing but I made it worse by allowing it to affect the rest of my day.  I seemed down all day, which I was, and my students could tell unfortunately.  If there were some way I could always be happy and joyful around them I would do it in a heartbeat... but I haven't found that ability yet.  Having my boss come into my room after school and then hearing that I am being watched did not help matters either, as far as my day went.
Arriving back at my place with little to do, I watched a movie that, as the title would suggest, was going to be about knights and witches.

It turned out to be about knights and demons.  I believe I needed to watch this movie, because it reminded me of the how, why and by whom I was tempted that morning.
The devil and his demons are tricky and cunning... and I fell right into their trap.  I had chances to pry open their hold, but I didn't. I let it squeeze tighter and tighter until I just gave in.
Don't worry though, this isn't a completely sad story, for at the end of the day the light shined on me, if only for a little bit.
I have been trying to read my Bible every night.  After the movie, sleep was not coming easily so I opened up the letter to the Hebrews and started reading.  I can honestly say my eyes were drifting shut as I was making it through the second chapter.  As I finished something flashed in my head as I realized what I had just read.

"For because he himself has suffered and been tempted, he is able to help those who are tempted." - Hebrews 2:18

This passage gave me great hope.
I can only overcome my temptation with the help Jesus Christ... and I really need his help, as we all do.

Pax

People Appeaser

On my 3 hour drive which started at 5 a.m. to a cross country meet... well, lets just say I had a great deal of time to think.
Out of all the thoughts I had, the one that I knew I needed to remember and put down into cyber space was quite an epiphany.
I am a people appeaser... have been my whole life as I have reflected.
What do I mean by this?  Its quite simple actually.  It seems that one of the major driving forces behind the majority of my actions has always been geared toward not making people upset.  I hate making anyone upset or angry or to even see people in those states.  So much has my basic fear of seeing people upset or angry that in the 5th grade I would make myself sick so I did not have to switch to the advanced English teacher for fear of the teacher yelling and getting upset with my classmates.  I have a hard time watching, predominately on TV or in movies, people who I know are leading themselves or others into something that will greatly upset them.
This is not entirely a bad thing, not wanting to make people upset.  My problem as I see it though is that this fear has kept me many times from possibly bringing joy to people.  Times when a simple "hello" or "hi" could brighten someones day, I keep quite for fear of making them feel awkward or that somehow my simple greeting will disturb them.  Times when I could have been more cordial and made conversation with people, again, I keep quiet for the same reasons.
There are also times when fear of upsetting people has kept me from confronting them about a wrong they were presently committing or had committed.  Again, my fear of upsetting gets in the way of doing something right and true, that should be done.
I do this everyday, and as a teacher these situations come up quite often and for the life of me I fail way too often.  Fear that people will be upset, and the most horrible of all, that they would be upset with me, is one of my biggest hindrances to being the follower of Christ I need to be.
Again, I guess I need to keep praying for humility... it's not about me... it's about goodness, truth and beauty... it's about God.

Pax all.

Evidence

This was hard to watch...

I have a lot of work to do.

Pax

Bad Mood?

I really have not been in a bad mood lately... but apparently... and I have lots of students who tell me this everyday as of recently... I seem like I am in a bad mood.
It can be enormously frustrating when I am really not in a bad mood but continue to get asked if I am, or I get the ever dreaded "whats wrong?" question that so many are too quick to ask because they think they deserve to know.

That, my friends and students, will get me in a bad mood.
One of the downfalls of working with youth is they still have a lot to learn.  I can see when many of them are in bad moods or something seems to be troubling them.  Asking them out-right is something I rarely do, unless I can tell they have something they have to spew to anyone who has ears to listen.
I myself, being in introvert, am slow to divulge anything, especially to high school kids, and especially to nosy ones.
Am I changing?  Constantly.
Am I different from the teacher and person I was 2 years ago? Oh yes.
Am I struggling with things in my life? Of course... that is a part of life for a single twenty-something year old.
Is it really annoying to have a bunch of students that think they know me and want to know all about me? Yes.
Am I questioning my career choice?  Even more so this year it seems.
Am I still trusting in God?  I hope so.

Pax

First Step

As you grow up and wander through the meanings of life, you begin a journey that requires endurance and patience. You begin to understand and confuse everything that you have been through, what you could have went through , and what you will go through. This is the stage before the journey of understanding. To undrestand your purpose in life, a journey must be taken. People hesitate and fear this journey and many never go through it. They live a life of ignorance. They never understand true happiness and confuse it with things that kill them inside and out. To go through this journey brings happiness and pain. It confuses and clarifies. But the end is worth the journey. People fear this journey so they never take the first step, becuase once the journey is started you cannot turn back. This journey will either bring eternal life, or eternal death. This journey is the journey of faith in God, and everybody in the world knows, the first step is always the hardest.

This was written by one of my students... there is hope for us yet.

Pax!

Humility

I prayed this litany in all my classes today.  Very few of my students understood its complexity and down right toughness I am sure... but maybe a few did... I pray.

Litany of Humility

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...
That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val (1865-1930), Secretary of State for Pope Saint Pius X

Working on my humility, one day at a time.

Pax!

NFL and the First Commandment

Something I wanted to post on Facebook but decided against.

Americans just love breaking the first commandment "you shall not have other gods besides me." Exodus 20 if you want to read all of them.  I lost count of how many people posted on Facebook how glorious of a day today is because NFL football is starting.  Packer fans, Bears fans, Vikings fans, 49er fans... its ridiculous.  Today is a glorious day because God made it, not because you can watch grown men who get paid an exorbitant amount of money to collide and run away from each other in the gladiator-like spectacle we call the NFL.  How much better would the United States of America be if people put half of the money they spent on football into services that help other people?  The money put into football only helps those that don't need any help except to buy their lavish homes and give millions of young boys the false hope of becoming famous someday for simply throwing a football well.  Also, lets not fail to mention the people whose entire weeks rest on the outcomes of their teams games.  Instead of finding joy in every breath as we always should, if their team loses, the next week could be mishmash of angry outbursts and altogether unpleasantness for those who have to come in contact with them only because they put all their hopes on the outcome of a football game!

I'm glad my roommate and I have decided against having cable this year so I do not have to fall into the distraction and pomp of the NFL and Americas god.
*If you are just a fan that enjoys watching some of the greatest athletes compete at the highest level, that's great, I am not attacking you.  All I am saying is keep the focus on Christ; He is the only one worthy of the worship far to many give to too many other things.

Pax

Envy

That one word says it all... well, not all of it, but a lot of it.
I have a lot of it, envy, I mean.  I am not proud of it, or want to gloat about it or use it as an excuse.
I'm glad however that I can at least name my problem and try to fix it.
So why is envy suddenly on my mind you might ask?... Well, it has been there for a long time, I can just recently put a name to it and the emotions I have been feeling.
Who is my envy geared toward you might also ask?... Well, that would be the young ladies of my past relationships of course!
You ready for it?  Well here it comes...
I am envious of her... for finding the love her life in the city that I moved to to be closer to her.  That she is over everything about our relationship and has fully moved on, again, with the love of her life. That everything just falls into place for her.  That she has never really had that tough of a moment in her life, in my opinion (I will be the first to admit that opinions are like ass holes, we all have them and they all, well, you know the rest).  That she found the love of her life and 8 months later were engaged!  (3 1/2 years with me was chop-live I guess).  That she could so quickly chock up all our experiences to "learning experiences" so quickly...
And then... I am also envious of her (another her)... that she got to leave and move closer to home. That she has a much closer relationship to God then I think I might ever have.  That she could end things because of God and actually use God as a good reason.  That she put little enough into the relationship that she could just be friends after it was over.
I have a lot of envy... BUT!!!!!!
I have more hope.  Hope that I can see that I am truly blessed in so many ways, and in turn be happy for these two wonderful women and all that God has blessed them with.
I will not let envy defeat me... by the grace of God it will not.

Pax!

Barriers and Me

If my last post came off all depressing and mopey, I am sorry, that was not my intention.
Is my life the perfect picture of what society thinks a 25 year old college graduate should be doing?  Heck no!  and I am totally fine with that.
I need this time right now, away from relationships and those things I thought I needed only a few years ago but managed to distort and take for granted.
Should I be blessed to meet a wonderful woman someday then this time will make me appreciate that time all the more.  If not, then this time will be a reminder that I can handle anything, with God's help.
I don't know yet what my path will be... single, married, the priesthood or brotherhood... only God knows.
I am not seeking a relationship at all... only a deeper one with Christ.  I am also not looking for any distractions and trying to avoid them as much as I can.
Am I doing a great job with any of this?  Yes and no.
It is easy to not seek a relationship, but staying away from distractions of all kinds in another matter.
All I know now is I need this next few months, maybe even a year, to grow closer to God, and at this moment, I am my own biggest barrier to get over.

Pax

Why Did I Have To Dream That?

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy dreams.  The ones I can remember are usually good, often interesting but sometimes there are ones that I would like to forget.

Last night I had a flurry of dreams... one after the other.  From being at my grandparents farm and running into a bear (which was kinda scary but exhilarating at the same time) to playing frisbee and even fishing; if I remember right.  But I had another dream.  One I was not expecting and one I would like to forget, or at least parts of it.

All I can recall was pulling into a parking lot next to another vehicle.  I got out and a person got out of the other car (sorry, not a real exciting dream as they sometimes come).  It was my last ex, who I have blogged about a little bit, which I regret but realize I can't do much about now.  We hugged, and what I remember most about the dream was the hug.  I know the dream was just taking me back to the feeling of the last time we did actually hug, but the feeling I felt during the dream was so amazing.  I felt truly happy and my whole being was filled with joy just from dreaming about a simple hug.  We proceeded to talk  but my memory fails me as to what exactly we talked about, except that, at the end, I know we parted ways... it didn't last... it wasn't meant to be even in my dreams.

Its a rare hour I can get through without thinking about relationships.  Personal, social and all others trickle or flood into my mind all the time.  One thing that has become clearer to me is that I need to make sure my relationship with God is at least on the right and steady up track before I can even think about a relationship with any woman.  That was a big mistake I made before, and I don't want to make it again.  

But back to the sensations I felt...it probably doesn't help that I haven't really hugged anyone in a few weeks, and as a young teacher, in a high school, with not many friends and no close family, the weeks with no hugs will just continue (especially if I want to keep my job).

Touch is an important thing... there is an unexplainable power  in the simplest of touches.  I guess when a person is as deprived as I am, this kind of dream shouldn't surprise me.  I just wish it wasn't her... I wish I was over her...

Peace

And so it's not all doom and gloom... here you go!

Teaching Grace

I taught about God's grace today.  It was simple really... maybe too simple.  But how can you really say a whole lot about something like grace?
It is a gift, or sometimes help, from God, that is undeserved but needed if we humans are to overcome our tendency to sin and it is our ticket to heaven.
I could have shown movies that the students would have not listened to for the next three days, but I decided against that.  Instead I tried to tap into the culture and show some spoken work videos.  The common reaction whas "why is the white guy trying to rap?"  They didn't care what the content was, they just wanted to be entertained in a way they are used to, or maybe they just wanted to complain about something so they could hear their own voices a bit.  Whatever the reason, teaching about grace was frustrating when I saw my students not really caring at all.  They need grace, but darned if I can make them understand it or make them see why they need it without putting on a dog and pony show, or be straight up mean and demand their attention.
Anyways... another day of teaching high school sophomores.
Here's one of the videos I showed...

Pax!

Seek Knowledge or Eat Your Pie

Humble pie never really tastes good, but in this instance I am glad to eat it.  Maybe it isn't really humble pie,  but I can't think of anything else to call it.

So what am I talking about you might ask... well, I am speaking to the fact that I am a teacher and I have come to realize that some things I have said in the past have not fully been correct.

As a theology teacher the question inevitably comes up each year whether or not I believe in hell or if people really go to hell.  From my past experiences and understandings, I had always said "no, I do not think anyone actually goes to hell".  I always prefaced this by stating something I had learned in high school; that hell would be an absence of God, and since God made everything, therefore hell does not exist.  To cover my tracks I would say something like the Church's understanding of purgatory would be what we think of as hell.

I don't think it is the worst thing I could have said and at the very least it may have given hope to students that were feeling, well, hopeless.

I have come to understand though, through the help of Father Barron and his wonderful YouTube series of commentaries, that what I have been believing myself and in tern teaching has been wrong.

The devil exists and hell exists.

Here's why... God indeed has created everything.  God created everything we see and do not see out of love, to be good.  In His love, God has given all His creation freedom.  We can either choose His love and accept His grace, or we can reject it... part of our being free.  There are angels and there are fallen angels; those angels that have rejected God's grace and love and exercise their powers on us through temptation in many different ways.  Thus, we have the devil and many demons (they tempt me oh so often).

Just as angels have chosen to not accept God's grace and love, so to can humans.  It is in the fact that God, out of His love for us, has given us freedom that we have to accept that hell can exist.  Undoubtedly, it is entirely possible that some humans have chosen to reject God and have ended up in hell.  It is well within our God given freedom that this is a possibility.  

Do we really know for sure? No.  But we can reasonably hope that all people are saved from hell. 

Pax!

Toughen Up!

Over half way through the first week of school and, well, its same old, same old. Students overjoyed... students frustrated... students whining...  just like I remember before summer.
And with that, I only have some words that I found today in another blog.  Words that I really like and for some reason as soon I read them, I felt better about a lot of things in my life.  

The man who couldn't stand to see the butterfly struggle, and slit open the cocoon to give the insect an easier time crawling out, stole the butterfly's chance to be strengthened through struggle.

So!  I need to challenge my students more and also be thankful for the challenges that I am presented with everyday... they make me stronger!!!!

Pax

Oh, and I couldn't help it... had to post this since it made my day after singing this at mass... well, not quite like this...

First Day of School

Well, I did feel a little like this guy...

minus the smiley tie and chalk board of course.
It was a good day though.  I laid down the law, so to speak, was clear on my rules, got a few laughs and some students might have learned some things.
Year three is starting out good.  I am very blessed, but I continue to pray to God that I will be prepared for whatever lies ahead.
Here's to a good year!

Pax

Lesson from Traveling

Well, I made it safely to the desert.  Year three, hoping this will be my last.  Kinda like how Jesus spent his three years preaching, hopefully this will be my last and greatest year before I start something new with my life.  Not really a resurrection, but maybe something similar... hopefully...
Anyways, so I was driving through the lovely state of Utah after spending the night in Salt Lake City with college friend and mother nature started calling.  If you have ever driven through Utah, you know there are not a whole lot of places to stop as soon as you get an hour from the Salt Lake area.  As mother nature was really starting to bug me, I remembered I had an empty bottle sitting next to me... hence, why mother nature was calling... duh...
Becoming desperate at this point and not knowing I would get a good chance to stop, I well... you know... got ready and had my well... you know... in the bottle, all while trying to drive at the same time (still probably safer then texting while driving), and what do I look up to see but a road sign saying "Rest Stop... 3 miles ahead"

The moral of the story is; when you are desperate for an answer, just be patient, because as soon as you go sticking your... well, you know... in a bottle... you might find the best answer a little ways further down the road.
It was an interesting lesson to learn, but one I needed I guess.

Pax

You Are the Pearl

I love thinking and looking at things differently!
With today's readings, the usual way to think about it is we need to give up everything for God, for the Kingdom of Heaven.  But, as Father spoke about today, lets flip this thought.
What has God done to get us?  Think about it!!!!
We are the treasure, we are the pearl.  God loves us so much, sees us as so much of a treasure, with so much worth, that he didn't just sell all he had, he gave his only Son for us.
Yep, I may have to have a lot of dirt wiped off me... and I mean a lot... but God still gave up everything for me, for you, for all of us because we are each the greatest treasures in the world... don't forget it!

 Pax!

I Get It... I Hope...

Alright... I seem to be getting it from all over....
its alright to be single
you have to trust
don't be angry
it takes time

But... at the end of the day...
I'm a bit lonely
I'm still angry
I'm a bit impatient
Trust... I can do that though.

One of the good things I learned from a past relationship was that when we think we know what is best for ourselves...

Jesus just laughs!

Pax

Saint Ignatius of Loyola

I attended a high school that was started by the Jesuits, and continue to call a Jesuit parish my home parish.  Daily mass today was special, celebrating the feast day of St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Society of Jesus, the Jesuits.  Relics were even brought out to give special blessings for those who desired them.  Its an awesome feeling to hold a relic of a saint in your hand and receive a blessing.

Pope Benedict XVI addressed the Jesuits today.  Here is an excerpt from his address.

"St Ignatius of Loyola was first and foremost a man of God who in his life put God, his greatest glory and his greatest service, first. He was a profoundly prayerful man for whom the daily celebration of the Eucharist was the heart and crowning point of his day.
Thus, he left his followers a precious spiritual legacy that must not be lost or forgotten. Precisely because he was a man of God, St Ignatius was a faithful servant of the Church, in which he saw and venerated the Bride of the Lord and the Mother of Christians. And the special vow of obedience to the Pope, which he himself describes as "our first and principal foundation" (MI, Series III, I., p. 162), was born from his desire to serve the Church in the most beneficial way possible."

Happy feast day Jesuits!

Deliver Me...

from temptation... small and large
from failed relationships and the wondering of "what might have been"
from stress
from worrying about the future
from my selfish desires and tendencies
from being content
from jealousy
from being the quiet guy that is slow to show love
from being lazy
from thinking of myself first
from not being thankful
from holding anger in my heart
from not forgiving
from not trusting
from wanting to be better then others
from desiring fame
from thinking I know what is best
from judging
from fear of things I can't control
from my sin
from doubt
from fear of speaking the truth
from fear of showing your love
from myself

Pax

Conversation with Myself

I apologize in advance for the bad language... I just can't get Myself to stop swearing.

Me- So how was you family vacation?

Myself- Good

Just good?  Is that your answer for everything?

For broad questions like that? Yes, "good" or "fine" is pretty much my answer.  Ask a more specific question and you will get a more specific answer... asshole...

Fine... how did things go on the vacation?

Well, most of the trip was great.  Plenty of time with the family in the most awesome of the National Parks.  Saw lots of critters and hot water and scenery.

Critters?

F*** you... my inner hick comes out every once and a while.

Alright... settle down... So that sounds great.  Anything else exciting?

Well, the first day kinda sucked.

Getting right to the bitching huh?

Well, you asked, jerk... So we stayed in the hometown of my last ex.  Of course, I started thinking about all of that as we approached the town.  Thought about the last time I was there.  Had the slight fear that I might see her, or some of her family.  Part of me wanted to I guess... Part of me just wanted to see her working as a store clerk or something.  I imagined myself saying something like "oh how the mighty have fallen" or some bulls*** like that.  

You seem like you still are not over her?

I don't even f***ing know what that means at this point.  Things were so great, I should have known I would f*** things up somehow.  I sent only a Valentines card, which arrived late, thanks to my own stupidity, not because I mailed it late... and the snowball over my heart just continued from there.  Then, because I'm just an emotional f*** that thinks too much... all I heard from her explanations of why things weren't going to work was because she prayed about it and got an answer from God.

So she was told by God that your relationship was wan't right?

Apparently... so I just took that.  I knew that my relationship with God was nowhere near as good or as healthy or right as hers... so I just took it.  I took the time to pray a rosary everyday during Lent after all this went down... which I am glad I did... part of it done so with the hope I was still holding onto that our relationship might be saved.  

That's great!  So you grew closer to God and everything is looking up right?

Sure... I was closer to God... I am back on a downward turn at the moment.  Being back in that town hasn't helped.  Thinking about it now doesn't help either.  For some reason, I have justified in my head that she just stopping liking me, then used God as an excuse.  That pisses me off... if you don't like me anymore, just tell me... that's easier then me trying to figure out what God saw so bad about our relationship.  But I guess as pissed off as I am about it... how things went down.. how fast it all happened... that it still affects me so much... its all a big moment of trust.  Something that I thought was so great... was so wonderful... is now completely done... its a huge moment of trust that I am struggling with.
I'm guessing you aren't talking anymore?
Nope... she wanted to "still be friends" and all that.  I thought I could try it at least.  I'm too f***ing emotional though.  I sometimes wish I was like those guys on TV that bounce between girlfriends like a new pair of shoes.  But I'm not.  We kissed... we had long talks, we connected.  Then to just be friends after all that?  Can't do it... I won't give into her guilt anymore.  I'm done trying to appease her gult like that.  Life is too short.  Sure, if she ever really needed me for something, I would be there in a hearbeat... but otherwise I'm done with it... I need to move on.
Well that's good I guess... got anything else to bitch about?
I guess that's it.  I've been wanting to get that off my chest for a while now. 
Glad I could help... you whiny bitch...
I love you man.
I know... God loves you more.

Pax!

One of Those Moments

Sitting at a bluegrass concert with my father, surrounded by a lot of beautiful women, I was very distracted to say the least.  I've been struggling with a lot of things this week... many that I am not proud of and thought I had gotten over, or at least conquered somewhat.  So taking a few steps back and forth this week has been good and bad for me.

Anyways, one of the songs at the concert tonight was about heaven.  During that song, for one of the few times during the night I stopped thinking about women and relationships.  I felt, well,  happy and joyful... thinking about heaven. It pulled me out of my self pity of being 25 and single with no prospects at the moment... for a minute or two.

Then, it was right back into thinking about the future, and past relationships; all that fun stuff.  The thoughts of if I should have put more effort into my last relationship.  How much I miss it.  How much I trust in the Lord, thankfully, so I'm not freaking out... at least not yet anyways.  How jealous I am of people that are in a relationship.

I really need to start taking the words of my late friend to heart and start living them...

Stop searching for the one, and just be the one

When I can look myself in the mirror and be truly happy, then I will be ready for a relationship.  Until then, I'm just, well, living...

Pax!

Over-Easy Please

Yolk... I like mine over-easy.  To spread the runny, yellowy goodness over the rest of the egg... dunk my bacon or sausage in it... wipe it up with the toast.... can't think of a much better breakfast... mmmmhhhmmmm... sorry... can you tell I like food?
Anyways...Jesus is talking about yokes, not yolks, today.  At mass, Father mentioned something that got me thinking.  When we think of oxen and their yoke, we rarely think of just one ox.  They usually always work in pairs.

(aren't they cute!!!!)

So... when Jesus says to "take my yoke upon you and learn from me" he his saying "let me help you!"
The problem is too many of us today drag our feet.  We want His help, but maybe we don't want to go that fast, or in that direction, or even move at all.
Others, much fewer I think, pull too fast.  They want to get ahead of Jesus, they want to pull Him along saying "lets go, lets go, I'm ready... I think I know where we are going!"  Those are the people that need to relax, be patient, and work with Jesus, not pull Him.
Whether being a drag or trying to get ahead, when not pulling equally with Jesus we get lost and the row does not stay straight.
Figuring out how to pull equally with Jesus, to make a straight row, that's the goal of life.

Please, Jesus, help me to pull my weight and also not get ahead of you.

Pax!

Its So Difficult!

Its easy to pray it, read about it, think about it.  But to actually do it?

Especially the "my path" part...

Pax all

He Wants Your Heart

He does not want your sacrifices, your burnt offerings or, yes, even your measly few bucks you throw into the offering plate.  What God really wants is your heart.  He wants you to trust in Him and no one else; not yourself, not others.  You should love God above all things, above all other people.  If you love your mother,  your father, sister, brother, husband or wife, you are not worthy to call yourself a follower of Jesus Christ.  God needs to be number one, #1, in your life.  That is the only way to have joy in this life.

So at a time in my life, when I do not really know what I want to do with my life, or what I should do, how do I first find my life and then lose it for God?  Is God going to lead me to a life which I will then have to lose?  If I really find something that I want to do with my life, do I have to lose that and do something completely different with my life... i.e. lose it?  Or is the life I am living right now the one I need to lose?
This is going to be a long year....

Peace all

Venerable Fulton J. Sheen

He really hit the mark with this quote.

Peace all!

Good Ramblings...

Just some ramblings from the last 2 weeks.

The 4th of July went pretty well.  We were joined by lots of family at our lake cabin.  My two little cousins took their time, but eventually I became the favorite one to follow around, hearing the phrase "cousin, you want to play?" multiple times.  I was put in jail, a few times, a fire starter and marshmallow roaster, a dog trainer, a daddy and for little while I manned two fishing poles as the youngsters lost interest.  Needless to say, when they left the afternoon of the 5th, I was a tired cousin.

On the 7th, I was blessed, for the third time, to go on a river float with my sister and do some fishing at the same time.  The weather was great, the fish were biting alright... I caught three, lost a lot more... and I didn't look a lure until right at the end of our float.  It was a good day on the river, which pretty much beats any other type of day there is...

From the 8th to the 10th, I was traveling the backroads of Montana with my father.  He likes to keep in touch with family and has been interested in our family tree for a while now.  So our yearly road trip was set; see some family and some new country.  Fort Benton was a great stop, especially since I got to fish, and they were really biting in the Missouri River.  Highwood, Denton, Judith Landing and finally Winifred dotted the beautiful land of central Montana that we traveled.  We even found Lost Lake, called the 8th Wonder of the World by the locals.  A few trips down memory lane and long drive home made for a good few days.

Done traveling for a few days.  Summer is almost over so I need to get every last bit of time I can up here in the great north before I have to head down south.

Peace all!

Your in the Middle of the Ride

This is for one of my readers who cannot seem to relax...

Let go and let God... some of the best advice I ever got.

Peace all!

Spiritual Hemorrhage

Do you have any spiritual hemorrhages?  I know I sure do.  Like the poor woman from today's Gospel, her hemorrhages made her unclean and unhealthy for 12 years.  She spent all her money and met with every doctor she could to try to be cured, but she just got worse.  Until she heard about Jesus.  She was able to touch his clothes and "immediately her flow of blood dried up."  Jesus did not know who had touched him, but he knew power had flowed from him.  She came forward, falling to his feet and told him the truth.  He simply told her that her faith saved her.
So back to my hemorrhages.    Lukewarmness, laziness, complacency... the list goes on, these are just the ones I can really put names to.  What do I need to do to stop the bleeding?  Drop to the feet of Jesus and beg for help?  I can receive the body and blood of Jesus every day, but that still is not enough for this weak young man.  Do I have to go through 12 years of suffering?  I really do not think what I am going through is suffering though.  Maybe I need to do something radical... hopefully, someday, I will be able to hear what God needs me to do, and at the same time be open to it.I really do not like bleeding...Peace

100% Organic Sex

Had to share this site... and put it on here so I don't forget about it.

www.1flesh.org     Check it out!

Oh, and my favorite blogger is a part of the rebellion... check out his addition to the blog http://www.1flesh.org/rebellion/  

When I Feel Most Like A Child of God

I was reading my favorite blog today, and it got me thinking, as it often does (which is why I read it!).  The author was writing about how we as humans often say that we can't fight our sins, everything is stacked against us, so we give in.  I used to be like this... still am with many things.  The point of his whole blog was that we as humans have free will; we can do whatever we want.
So... I feel most like a child of God when I use participate in my gift of free will.  When I can turn away from a sin or from that last piece of cake that I really do not need... I feel more alive!

Those times when I can make my own decision, even if it goes against everything the current environment or urges are telling me, are the times that I look back on with wonder and thankfulness. 
As humans, we have the gift of free will and when we fall into routines of sin or lukewarmness with our faith, we fail to live up to the gifts that God has given all of us.
So as my favorite blogger suggested to do today, go out and do something just because you can and not because others or your urges say you should or you shouldn't.

Peace all

The Great Divorce

I sat down and read C.S. Lewis' book "The Great Divorce" yesterday.  I had started it on my long journey home, reading the preface and the first chapter never to pick it up again until yesterday.  This might be the first book I have ever read all the way through in one day... well, at least most of it anyways.  It is a short read really, and I fully had no intent to read it all through in one day, but I could not put it down.

I won't spoil anything for anybody, but the book is not about divorce (I had to explain this to my mother), it is about Heaven and Hell.
Here is one of my favorite quotes from the book.

Never fear. There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done."

 Peace all!

A Few Facebook Rants

Facebook gods...
     Most friends I have on facebook are pretty good about this, but one person keeps telling the world about all of their problems and feelings, and then has gall to ask everybody to stop telling him how he should be feeling because 'we don't know what he has been going through'.... Well, I see an easy way to fix this.  Quit fricken telling everybody on facebood about your problems!!!!!  If you don't want the facebook gods to bother you, quit offering up all your problems to them and offer up your pain and suffering to the One True God.

Facebook friends
     Many of you know my ex is now engaged.  I don't have her as a facebook friend, but we do have lots of friends in common of course.  This leads to me being able to see her profile on a limited basis.  And of course her pictures are of her and her new fiance.  This frustrates me, for lots of different reasons and none that I am proud of.  I guess I am A) jealous; jealous that she has found the love of her life.  What makes it even better is that she found her love in the city I moved to to be closer to her, and now look who is single!  B) pissed; pissed at God that I can't just move on... get over it... get on with life... I am supposed to be stronger then this!  C) sad; sad that I can't just quit facebook because it is the only connection I have to a lot of my friends that I need to talk to more, but don't.

Facebook pictures
   I guess it was inevitable that when I hit my mid twenties all my friends that are all "grown up" and having kids would post pictures of their adorable little ones all over facebook for all of us to see.  The endless pictures of your babies make me want to puke!!!!!!!!  I get it, you have a kid that consumes your life now... great for you... I don't need to be reminded every day that I am getting older and that I am no where near ready for a baby.

Thats all I got for now... God give me strength... patients at least... please

Peace all!

Flag Day

You might not read about this on many other blogs, but for those of you who don't know, today is Flag Day.  I have been a member of the Sons of the American Legion for the past few years and a member of the American Legion Honor Guard in my hometown for the last 2 years.  Today we were present at a Flag Retirement Ceremony, honoring a couple hundred flags by retiring them buy burning them.

I had a thought while standing, saluting over and over again as the flags were placed into the fire.  I remembered back when people would turn there back to the flag because they did not agree with what the government was doing.  After serving at funerals and ceremonies like this one, I understand the flag means more then the United States government.  The flag stands for all the men and women who died over the years, through all the wars and battles.  Those that made it home and those that did not.  The flag stands for the freedom we all take for granted, not just our government.  So when people turn there back to the flag they are turning there back to so many who died for them.  If you do not agree with the government, fine, that's your deal, but do not turn your back on the people and the symbol of our freedom as united states citizens.

That's my Dad in the middle holding the flag.

Peace all

Corpus Christi

Altar serving at mass today was an enjoyable experience.  Two baptisms made the mass a little longer but a visiting priest meant I had less to do.  

While sitting quietly in front of the entire congregation, I remembered back to one of the best homilies I have ever heard.  I unfortunately cannot remember the priests name.  He was new to my college in my last year there and every homily he gave I very much enjoyed.  

This homily stood out to me because he did not mince words and his point fit perfectly with today's Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ.  

Christ did not say "this is kinda my body" or "this is a representation of my body" or "this is a mixture of my body and bread"... Christ said "this is my body" and "this is my blood" (emphasis added).

The Real Presence, the Body and Blood of our Lord given up freely for us.  Mass is such a wonderful and needed celebration and sacrifice!

Peace all!

Winding Roads

2390 miles, across 4 states and the windiest roads I have ever seen.
After finishing up all my teaching stuff, I hit the road.  Hopefully this will explain my absence from blogging.  Get ready though... I intend to make up for lost time with a nice lengthy post.

Night 1- Joshua Tree National Park

I arrived around 8pm, after leaving Yuma around 5pm.  The east side of the Salton Sea was much nicer then the west side that I took last year.  Box Canyon Road was my first twisty-turny road that took me right to the southern entrance of Joshua Tree.
I found a campsite, which was not hard.  Only one other couple was staying in the Cottonwood Campground.  I rolled out my sleeping bag and slept under the stars... no tent needed.

Driving through the park the next morning was great.  Lots of jack rabbits and quail, and the goofy looking Joshua trees of course.  I headed north through California to Highway 395, the Three Flags Highway.  Lone Pine and Bishop were wonderful little towns.  I approached Lee Vining and the east entrance to Yosemite.  I was in more of a hurry then I needed to be, but I started the climb to the top of Tioga Pass.

Night 2- Tioga Pass and Saddlebag Creek

Camping out at 9500 feet was great... a little chilly... but still nice.  I had the rush of the creek to lull me sleep, but not before I did a little exploring.  I found a little restaurant at the Tioga Pass Resort and had a nice juicy cheeseburger for dinner, which I was not expecting but was glad to have.

I survived the cold night and woke up to find an empty road through the majority of Yosemite.  I wound my way through the park, stopping to take pictures and ending up at the famous Yosemite Valley where I had breakfast and took more pictures.  I got out the park in time to see strings of cars driving up to the park; perfect timing!

I also managed to find the windiest road I have ever been on.  Highway 49 between Bear Valley and Coulterville was crazy!  I got dizzy with all the dips and turns and motorcycles zooming past me.  I made it through and went through many little towns that I don't think 99% of Californians have ever heard of.

I ended up in Arnold, CA, where I had lunch and then went right to my next camp spot.

Night 3- Calaveras Big Tree State Park

I got my campsite and headed to the information building.  "Where are the big trees?"  It was a simple question with a simple answer.  "Go out this door, turn left, go this way and you will see the start of the trail"  

It was a wonderful evening.  Huge trees... I mean huge... families walking around... beautiful weather... it was a wonderful evening.  I even got to take a shower!

I woke up early and headed for Murphys, CA and Saint Patricks parish for mass.  The priest asked it there were any visitors.  I raised my hand and said I was from Montana.  After mass I was one of the last out of the church and the priest said somebody wanted to see me.  I met Dennis, who was from Montana but now lived in Murphys.  He invited me to breakfast with him and the rest of the breakfast crew at Murphys Hotel. Breakfast was great the the people I met were wonderful.  I thanked Dennis again and again then hit the road.

I hit the road through central California.  Up Napa Valley, were I saw a bunch of limousines... rich people I guess.  I had heard from the breakfast group that rain was going to hit the coast.  I was racing the weather at this point and made it to my next spot as the rain started falling.

Night 4- Humboldt Redwood State Park  

I beat the rain and set up my tent in relative dryness.  For the first time I had cell reception at my campsite so I was able to talk to some people and get a good nights sleep with the rain falling around me.  I woke up and drove through the Avenue of the Giants... more huge trees!  Eureka, CA and a quick breakfast kept me going north and another Redwood State Park.  I saw my first Roosevelt elk and saw some beautiful country...then came the rain.

I followed the coast up to some family in Oregon and was rained on the whole time.  The coast was beautiful, but the rain and the waves just forced me to want to get to my destination.

Last Night- Palouse Falls State Park

Again, I headed north from Oregon and drove as close as I could to Mt. St. Helens.  I found a spot with a great view, but the clouds covered the top of the famous volcano.  With snow still making roads impassible, I went back south and found another windy road on the way to Carson, WA.  The Columbia River Gorge was my companion for a while until I again turned north to find a great view of Mt. Rainier.  The Tri-Cities were my last stop before I found the falls in the middle of know-where.  

A cold night and a hurried drive home ended my week of travels.  I am very blessed.

Peace all!