Kinda Just Waiting

I was able to go home for the first time since I moved to Minnesota just recently. Not much has changed at home. Driving around town and visiting with people was familiar and comforting. I've missed home; the mountains, my family, the outdoors, my friends. It was good to be home. 

Of course the thoughts went through my mind of moving back home as soon as possible. Going through multiple lists in head almost on a daily basis I can't say I managed to figure out much. A few I do know though. 

I'm needed where I'm at right now.

Home will always be there.

I just have to be patient and trust.

I'm also kinda just waiting. I hate to say it but I'm kinda just waiting for someone to die.

My grandfather is not doing great. His dementia is slowly getting worse, as it does, and the strain of taking care of him is weighing on my grandmother who still is not asking for help. After him, really anyone might be called to the next life at anytime of my family that is back home. I knew taking this job that it probably be my last opportunity to move farther away while things were still fairly normal at home. 

So I don't regret being where I am. I'm ready to be home but unfortunately it could take a death to get me home. I do not want to leave my teaching job early so I'm praying that thing back home can stay stable enough until I can move back. 

I've lived long enough to know that my best laid plans can get thrown out in the blink of an eye. Therefore, all I can do is keep doing what I'm doing. I have to keep working while I'm waiting, and also keep praying.

Peace all

Increase Our Faith and Lessen Our Emotions

Being a teacher is no easy task these days in America. Having taught for three years I thought I would never teach in a classroom again, but here I am, doing just that. My thoughts on the education system in America do not matter much. Teaching religion gives me plenty of freedom to teach how I so desire. Still it is difficult to break myself out of the routine that our national education system has taught us and even more difficult to get students out. But I'm trying, in small ways.
I know I have many struggles ahead. Already I know that many in my classes have a bad taste in their mouths when it comes to the Catholic faith. Whether it is simply what our society has been "teaching" them about the faith or bad experiences with previous religion teachers or priests, I'm faced with an uphill battle. Many of my students want to discuss the hot button issues. I feel woefully unprepared at the moment but through planning and my own learning I will get to the point where those issues will be discussed.
At mass this evening Father talked about faith and emotions. As Catholics, our faith is based on reason, not emotions. Logic dictates what we believe and emotions, though for the most part good, cannot be the sole foundation for our faith.
To me, this all makes great sense. I heard from another to have a healthy distrust of emotions and the longer I live the more I see how that is true. Emotions are clearly evident in everything my students do. They are being taught by our society that it is only our own emotions that matter. Good or bad, our individual emotions are what should guide our lives. This thing makes me feel good, therefore I should do that. This thing makes me sad or angry, therefore I should hate it and fight against it.

My battle when it comes to discussing the hot button issues with my students will be to remove their emotions from the equation. As of yet I do not know how to do that.
My students seek logic and rationality at the heart of all things, but overwhelmingly emotions and feelings are what grab them and sway them. Is it any wonder why things are the way they are?
In my times of doubt and feelings of being overwhelmed, I ask God to increase my faith and lesson the effect my emotions have on me. I pray that for my students as well.