Kinda Just Waiting

I was able to go home for the first time since I moved to Minnesota just recently. Not much has changed at home. Driving around town and visiting with people was familiar and comforting. I've missed home; the mountains, my family, the outdoors, my friends. It was good to be home. 

Of course the thoughts went through my mind of moving back home as soon as possible. Going through multiple lists in head almost on a daily basis I can't say I managed to figure out much. A few I do know though. 

I'm needed where I'm at right now.

Home will always be there.

I just have to be patient and trust.

I'm also kinda just waiting. I hate to say it but I'm kinda just waiting for someone to die.

My grandfather is not doing great. His dementia is slowly getting worse, as it does, and the strain of taking care of him is weighing on my grandmother who still is not asking for help. After him, really anyone might be called to the next life at anytime of my family that is back home. I knew taking this job that it probably be my last opportunity to move farther away while things were still fairly normal at home. 

So I don't regret being where I am. I'm ready to be home but unfortunately it could take a death to get me home. I do not want to leave my teaching job early so I'm praying that thing back home can stay stable enough until I can move back. 

I've lived long enough to know that my best laid plans can get thrown out in the blink of an eye. Therefore, all I can do is keep doing what I'm doing. I have to keep working while I'm waiting, and also keep praying.

Peace all