Going Backwards... and Why It Frustrates Me

When it comes to life and living as a good Catholic young man, I fail quite often.  Not huge fails usually, just the little ones that are unfortunately somewhat a part of who I am.  I know I'm not perfect.
The little failures do not worry me most days.  It's the big failures, the ones where I am flat on my back, where I am at my lowest of lows, that cause me the most trouble and I do do my best to avoid them.
You might be thinking "well duh!"... and I would agree with you.  Except part of me feels like I need these big failures.  I need to be brought back to earth sometimes and my big failures do that quicker then anything else at the moment.
Why do I bring all this up?  I failed recently... and it got me thinking... and I hadn't written in a while... I felt like I needed to put these thoughts "on paper".

I gave into temptation. I was pushed to the edge... I fought it... but in the end I gave in... I lost the battle... I failed.
Because of this failure this became my morning; I got up, ate, fiddled around, prayed a rosary while kneeling next to my bed, then went to Adoration and then mass.
If I had not failed the night before, this would have most likely been my morning; I would have got up, ate, watched a stupid show on Netflix, fiddled around and then shown up to mass right as it was starting.
This is one of my biggest problems!  I would not have done those good things to bring me closer to God if I had not done something bad that took me farther away from God.  The more I think about it the more pissed off I get.  Why does it take me failing for me to do things I should be doing anyways?  Why can I not strive to always grow closer to God? Why does it take a falling back for me to want to keep going forward?   Do I have this level that I am trying to maintain?  Why can I not get it into my head that that is the wrong way.  There is no level to how close I can be to God.  It is a never ending journey but one I only take seriously when I have drifted backwards and then feel like I need to catch up.
When we train properly for things, we strive to get better each day.
...I'm not doing that.
Goals are set in place so we can work toward them and not fall back.
...what is my goal?  I have a difficult time answering that unfortunately.
I want to be a saint... but I am doing a shitty job of working toward that goal right now.  It shouldn't take failure to motivate me to work harder for my goal.
I need help Lord.