The Novena to Surrender to the Will of God tells me not to do this. Jesus tells me me not to think, my mind is too acute. Stop thinking about the consequences and just close my eyes and surrender to God, He will take care of it.
I get it, but this is so tough to do. My mind raises with second guessing, what might have been and what could still be. Only with God's grace can I shut my mind off and do as He tells me; close my eyes and surrender all to Him.
I can't wait until the day I can look back at all of this and smile. That day could come quickly, or it could be a year or more away. The one brief moment of true peace I felt this morning at mass was when I thought about how all of this is on God's time, not my own, and I don't need to worry. Trying to rush things wont help at all. Patience is what I need right now, and the ability to shut off my brain and trust in God. He will take care of it.
My other struggle is that I know I can't just sit back and wait. The image in my mind is of me sitting in the boat, hands on the oars, looking back as Jesus. He will steer me and guide me, but I need to provide the push. I'll row and Jesus will steer. But I don't know how I'm supposed row. How can I act, or row the boat without a little bit of direction? Or do I just start rowing in ways I know I can move and let Jesus direct me?
Your will be done, Lord, take care of it.
There is a longing we all have that cannot be fulfilled. Union with God is the only true source of joy, yet, the pull of worldly things persists. The struggle goes on, but God is with me all the way. Here are my thoughts, findings and ramblings as I try to be my perfect self, for the glory of God.
Who Am I?
- D-Wherl
- I'm just a guy trying to trust in God and be the best I can be for God and others, then myself.
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