Hope Persists

Hope is never lost. The future is bright, I have no doubt about that. Not knowing what the future holds can be a bit unsettling, but that is something I'm trying not to worry about right now. All I have is today, and whatever today presents me as a way to prepare for my future I'll do.

Yesterday was a rough day. I woke up angry with God, questioning everything that I've recently gone through, in the last 2 weeks and the last 4 months. What was the hole point of it? Did I have to cause someone else pain and fear like I did just so God could pull me closer to Him? I had thoughts and feelings about God that I've very rarely ever had. Doubt about God is something I've been blessed to rarely ever experience. My faith in God is strong because in many things I have learned to, as a good friend once told me, "let go and let God". As a kid I was a worrier. I would get sick with anxiety over things, and I mean physically sick to the point that I would leave school. Over time I was graced with the ability to not worry and almost without thinking place my trust and hope in God.
My newly developed laid-back, don't worry about things personality made people think I was not passionate about things sometimes. I had a boss tell me that at my job interview she had never seen someone so relaxed. She almost couldn't believe it. So yes, in some things I learned to just be me and trust in God, but in other things, I'm clearly still struggling to give them to God. 

Despite a bad day, and a rough night of prayer that I managed to get through by the grace of God, hope persists. I have a specific hope for the future that I'm having a hard time with. I'm trying to give it to God, all of it. But because I know hope persists I still think about it. So how do I give up something completely and stop thinking about it, while at the same time knowing that there is hope for that future?

I need to just hope in God alone and push everything else out. But that is much easier said than done. 

Holy Spirit, remove everything from me that isn't of God and fill me with Your love and nothing else.  

Peace all