Do I Annoy God?

On a long road trip with my father it should be no surprise that I started to remember things that he does that annoy me. It was something as simple as the way he ate an apple. Silly, I know, but it bugged me.
That got me thinking. I love my father very much but still things he does annoy me. So I wondered, do things I do annoy God?
Does God ever face palm when I do something stupid or annoying?
I don't think God does. God loves me so much that there is nothing I could do to cause Him to love me any less. My mind doesn't understand that because I can't love like that. People annoy me and do things that piss me off.  I love them as best I can, but I can't love them as perfectly as God love them or myself.
It was a humbling moment and a moment of grasping at God's love, a love that cannot be ever fully grasped.
I know God probably laughs at me all the time. Bringing God joy is something I need to be better at. If I make God more happy I will make others happy.

Peace all

Christ's Love

After a rough week it nice to get away and be a part of a retreat where I was not responsible for anything. Three hours total of driving was worth it for the day I had.  Nothing truly mind blowing or earth shattering happened at the retreat. I did open up a bit and did actually talk to people including youth, and it was great. I also finally talked to a young lady who was helping with the retreat along her other team members who I've wanted to talk to. She gave a talk that focused on Christ and how important it is to see Him and focus on our relationship with him.  Another topic was how shy and quiet of a person she is and how she has learned to accept that about herself. Of course I was like "I know what you mean!", in my head of course.  Afterwards, and I don't really know how it happened, but I ended up talking to her.  I shared how I know what  its like to be shy and quiet.  She mentioned how it seems now that I'm not the only introvert youth minister in the diocese anymore.
I have to admit that since I have seen this young lady I have been attracted to her.  I was thinking about that on my long drive home as one would figure it brought me a great deal of joy to think about how I had actually talked to her and we made a little connection. Not trying to get my hopes up at all I tried to turn my thoughts to Christ and His love for me. This overwhelming feeling came over me as I thought about how my feelings of joy were just like the joy the Christ feels when I am active in my relationship with Him. My joy cannot compare at all to His, but just thinking how they are similar and how mine bit of joy made me feel just overwhelmed me for a moment.
Christ Jesus loves me more than I can image and I was blessed to get a taste of that joy today which was the icing on the cake of great day.

Bring Christ Jesus some joy today... all you have to do is talk to Him.

Peace all

I Can't Be Like Them

Having three different responses to my self pitying rant this morning I have felt compelled to think and pray about my current issues and thus, write some things out.

I have a lot to learn about being a good youth minister; no hiding that fact. I also need to more fully understand who I am. That is something I've been working on and feel like I am starting to grasp the person I am. Self discovery has been a lifelong challenge for me and finally grasping the concept has lifted a lot off my chest. Understanding the way I am helps me to just be me and not apologize for it.  There is always room for improvement and more understanding.

How do I become a better youth minister though? Watching and learning from my fellow youth ministers is a must, but at the end of the day, we are all very different people.  They kind of have their own "clique", for lack of better term, and I don't fit in it.  Not being an extrovert or having any special "youth minister" skills like playing an instrument or coming up with an awesome game right off the top of my head means I'm going to have to figure out new ways. Spending the last three years learning how to be a teacher was a lot of work. Now the task in front of me is learning how to be a youth minister.  Although they are similar, they are very different in a lot of ways. 

The biggest struggle I see is staying true to who I am and what my skills are.  Taking who I am and being the best youth minister I can be is a daunting task.  I can't be like my fellow youth ministers, I have to be me and all that God has made me to be.  My fear is that I'm not up it, or worse, that deep down inside I really don't want to do it.  Maybe I just want to float through this year and then be done and go on and do something else with my life.

Laziness and pride are my enemies when it comes to this year.  I have the ability to float on the little bit I know and make things work.  That would be the lazy and the prideful way.

I pray for humility and for the Holy Spirit to kick my butt into action.  

It's going to be a lot of work, but I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me, each and every day.

Thanks for the encouraging words,

Peace all

Not A Good Night

Any teacher knows that preparation is key to whatever you are trying to do with your students. I've always known this and done a fairly good job being prepared. I'm not perfect, and honestly, I don't think I've ever been a good teacher and I don't think I'm a very good youth minister.
Tonight I didn't know what kind of numbers I was going to have.  The students have the rest of the week off from school so I wasn't planning on having many show up.
I had 18 high school kids show up... I was not prepared for that.
This turned out to be one of those nights where nothing went well after opening prayer. I didn't know what game to play, tried a few things and none worked well. I went over the gospel reading for this Sunday, and that didn't go well. Closing prayer came along, and the words didn't as the youth were growing restless and laughed or complained of hand sweat.
And I really don't take it personal, but I had one of the youth, while talking about a nearby parish that just a new youth minister tell me that he had wanted the youth minister they just hired to get the job I got here. Again, not taking it personal, but it wasn't the best night for me to hear that.
Pretty sure I'm on the downward slope after the initial high of the new job.
I don't know why I got this job.  There are way better youth ministers out there.  I don't have the passion or the ability as others do... yet here I am.
I've heard over and over again how the Holy Spirit led the community here to pick me for the job.
I'm here for a reason.  I need to do a better job and be more prepared.
Holy Spirit, please help me through this year.

Peace all

Deep Voices and Compassion

If you've never been to a mass where the number of priests outnumbers that of lay people, I highly recommend it.
My diocese is having their priest retreat week and my parish happens to be the closest to the retreat sight. So I was blessed to be at mass last night which was celebrated by our bishop, a visiting bishop and four diocesan priests who are celebrating jubilee years.  It was pretty awesome to say the least.
After mass I turned to my friend and mentioned how wonderful it was to hear the room fill up with all the deep voices throughout the mass; she couldn't agree more.
The readings for the mass were Elijah raising the boy from the dead and Jesus raising the boy from the dead. One of the easiest set of readings to see how they relate.  In Father's homily, what struck me was his mention of compassion. Before Jesus could tell the widower to stop crying, he needed to feel compassion for her, and he did.  That is something we all need, especially in whatever ministry we have and honestly whenever we interact with people. Compassion for others is the first step to helping them, in whatever way we can.  We're not going to be raising people from the dead, but remembering to be compassionate to all that we meet is vitally important in living a Christ centered life.

For a little treat, here are some amazing singing priests...

Peace all

I'm Not An Anomaly

Well, I just read this article,
http://wordonfire.org/WoF-Blog/WoF-Blog/October-2013/Culture-The-Anomaly-of-Being-an-Anti-Drifter.aspx
it's about a young man, only a year older than me, who is a happily married father of 4 children. Turns out, his life is the anomaly and mine fits right in with the rest of society and guys my age.  I'm a drifter...
So I guess the only thing that makes me different is that as a 20 something year old bachelor I go to mass almost every day, and I'm not a seminarian.
I don't want to be a drifter. Giving my life to someone else completely would be amazing and a wonderful gift from God.
Reading that article is not helping with my trying to be patient.

Peace all

Introvert Youth Minister!

I hope I'm the only one, but chances are I am not the only introvert youth minister out there. I've always had the introvert personality.  Put me in a room full of people I don't know and I get nervous.  With a few people, I'm okay. It's not that I'm that shy.  Trying to spark a conversation with someone, especially with just small talk, is almost painful to me. But put me in charge of that room, up in front talking to all of them and I'm great. I find it a strange reality, but its the reality that I live in.
My concern is can I be an effective youth minister while admitting that I am an introvert?
At a gathering this weekend of youth leaders from around my diocese I didn't say much or really meet many of the youth. There was also a team of college age young adults who will be ministering in the diocese, and again, I talked to very few of them.
With my own youth at my parish, I'm alright.  When I'm up in front of all of them I'm comfortable. Still, before of after when it's small talk time... well, that isn't when I shine.
I don't know what it will take to break me out of my shell or if I even can be more extroverted.
I am not as confident of a young man as I should be, for lots of different reasons, which is a problem I have had since I was kid.
Just another one of my struggles that I will pray for guidance about.

And for those of you out there wondering about introverts, where is a pretty good diorama about how to care for them.

Here also is a nice Top Ten list about introvert misconceptions.

Peace all

The Pope Said What?

It kinda ticks me off when I read other Catholic blogs that recently have been bashing the Pope.  I mean, come on, the media and the rest of the world do enough of that.  And then Catholics do exactly what we get mad at the media for doing; taking the Popes words out of context.
Ya, he makes off the cuff remarks... earth to Catholics that like the bash the Pope... he's human!
And when Catholics attack the Pope, are they really being helpful in bringing the world to Christ? No, they are being selfish, it's that simple.  So go ahead, pick apart the Popes words looking for something to piss you off. He's inviting all people to the banquet while you are scaring them off.
End of my rant.
Peace all

Pissed On But Not Pissed Off

I've been peed on a few times in my life.  A sleep walking roommate, another incident I tried to forget about but just popped into my head, and countless animals have peed on me I'm sure.
Today I was peed on... well, sprinkled would be a better word.  Guys are the only ones that have the problem of having to pee standing next to another guy.  Today, well, that didn't work out too well for me.
That led me to thinking about when I had been peed on in the past, as you can tell.  It also led to me thinking about the future.  Will I get to experience the classic getting peed on by the baby?  Not sure why my thoughts went there.

And ya, I'm not pissed about being peed on.  It happens you know... can't let it rain on your parade (pun intended)

Peace all