Be Enchanted

Weekends with such a mix of emotions like I have just had are not necessarily fun, but are growing experiences. 

I helped a friend pack up and move back to, well, essential home. This is one of the only true friends I had even relatively close to me and now this person is across the country. It was a sad weekend because now, I'm not needed. If this friend ever really needed someone for serious help I would have most likely been the go-to person. Now, I'm not needed and for some reason I feel even more alone. Having a friend three hours away was a lot more comforting than having one 20 hours away. 

Also, I stepped back, though very, very briefly, into the college dorm life. Having friends living all around you, walking down the halls laughing or talking through the walls. Going out to movies and dinner or just random trips just to do something to not be bored. I know seeing all that is adding to me feeling very alone in the world.

I am very happy for my friend for accepting a new challenge and getting out of tough situation. Still, all weekend I was basically a dud and just did what I was asked. Lets face it, I don't handle my emotions well and one thing I hate to do is put my own stuff on other people. Hence, I use my blog as a one and only outlet most of the time.    

About the only thing I can do at the moment is relay what Father said in his homily this morning, as a small gesture of love.

Be enchanted by God because God is enchanted with you. 

I can't do Father's homily justice... definitely can't pull off the Irish accent. But that is basically what he said. 

'Enchanted' isn't a word that is used much nowadays, but it's the word he chose. God is so enchanted with us that He made us and loves us. After our baptism it is our turn to become enchanted by God. Love God deeply and let that love infect all that we do. 

Father also talked about the year ahead and a year in review so the homily and subsequent talk look a long time. I didn't mind though. 

And I can't explain it, but for one of the few times I was brought to tears, but held them back, after receiving communion and singing some of my favorite songs. It's almost as though I had a glimpse of heaven and what it might feel like. I long for that feeling again... of complete and utter gratefulness to God. I was enchanted by God, fully and completely, and now, after being pulled back into the world, the sadness thickens and all can pull myself to do is type.

Peace all

St. Matthias

St. Joseph is a saint I have started to communicate more with. I guess he is my patron saint at the moment. Pretty sure I have written about that a bit. Anyways...
I was reading another blog that suggested finding a patron saint for the year ahead. Well, I figured having just recently started a small devotion to St. Joseph, why not have another saint to converse with? The more the merrier right!
Well, using the random Saint's Name Generator I found another saint. The thing is, I've known about this saint. The name of this saint is one of my favorite names. His name is the same name of one of my favorite characters from a book series I read as a kid (and would like to get back to reading some day). It's a name you'd think would be more common, but I don't think it is.
I was very surprised and extremely excited when this saint popped up on my screen.
Drum roll please...
My new patron saint for 2014 and hopefully longer is...

Let me just say, he is an awesome saint! He waited patiently and when his name was called he jumped in and filled the vacant spot among the Apostles and did a bang up job from what I read.
Here's to learning more about St. Matthias and a wonderful 2014!

St. Matthias, pray for me.

Peace all

St. Joseph and Prayer

I'm not sure what mass it was at, but I keep thinking about what Father said during his homily about St. Joseph. He, St. Joseph, was a man of great prayer.
This is not an understanding that I ever thought about much. We know that he was a good guy and was also a good foster father to Jesus. Before all of that though, Joseph was a man of prayer. He would have done all that he was supposed to do as a Jewish gentleman and probably then some. What is most important is that because he had such a good prayer life he could tell when God was speaking to him. When the angel appeared to him in a dream he didn't question. His closeness to God assured him that God was instructing him, and thank goodness for that. If Joseph had not been a man of prayer he could have just shaken off the dream went on with his life. Yet his relationship with God was so strong he knew when God was speaking to him.
Was does all this mean for me? The same old thing really. To know God's direction for my life more clearly I must grow closer to Him, and I do that by prayer.
I don't know why, but when I am home I struggle with my prayer life more then when I am alone at my apartment.
I've got a lot of work to do.

Peace all

Worst "Catholic" University

From what I've read and heard, Georgetown takes the cake for the worst large "Catholic" university, and as far as I know there is a petition out there to have its Catholic standing removed. I say go for it.
What is frustrating is the smaller "Catholic" universities and colleges that are out that might be doing just as much damage to the Catholic faith as big ol' Georgetown.
Especially frustrating is the fact that one of the "Catholic" universities is directly affecting one of my dear friends and I honestly don't know what I can do.
The University of Great Falls is very much, from what I've been told, Catholic only in name, not in action. Currently, they have no Catholic campus minister. There had been a young lady in the position earlier in the year, but she quit. Apparently she could not take the lack of support and gave up on fighting a losing battle. There is however a protestant campus minister who is at the moment in charge also of Catholic ministries, like setting up mass and being in charge of the Sacristy. This I find completely absurd and pretty much down right terrible. There is no daily mass and no permanent priest on campus to boot.
For some reason the president of the school is completely fine with this and basically asked the one person on campus trying to make sure the school has any visible Catholicity to kindly leave.
I know writing this isn't going to do much of anything.
I pray for the president of the University of Great Falls and for all the students who are not being given a proper and true Catholic education.

Being a Church Mouse

I never had a great word to describe myself when I am back at my home parish until last night. My father, who is very active at our parish, volunteered me to usher with him for a Christmas Eve mass. That was fine... I've basically come to expect that I will have to do something whenever I set foot in my home parish.
After arriving at church and getting my ushering duties underway I was also asked to be an Extraordinary Minister. Again, not a problem, I've worked double duty before.
With fifteen minutes to go before mass was supposed to start it was clear that we were going to have some overflow. This normally isn't a problem. We have a downstairs hall where the mass is broadcast so the overflow can still be a part of the mass. Problem was, the parish did not think this would be needed so there was no one to run the camera. Father came out and asked if anyone could run it... no response. So, yours truly got to run the camera while another usher and minister were found.
My Christmas Eve mass was spent by myself, sitting in front of screen controlling a little joystick to follow the mass so all at church could witness.
Towards the end of mass Father wanted to thank all those who helped with the mass including the church mice behind the scenes.
There you have it, I will forever remember being called a church mouse, because that is what I have been, was and will continue to be at my home parish. I work, quietly, behind the scenes and I'm happy to do so.
I hope you all had a Merry Christmas.
Peace and goodwill to all!

Full Circle Youth Ministry

The youth ministers in my diocese had a meeting today. Let me just say, I love these meetings. It is so great getting together with my co-workers to talk and share.
There were a few campus ministers there from a local college and university. Our intent was to dialogue with them about how we can better work together, youth ministers at parishes and campus ministers at schools. A lot of it just boiled down to passing on information and making sure our youth go off to college with the knowledge of who can continue to help them with their faith lives. It was a great discussion and I personally got a few ideas of how to help my youth transition to college. What blew me away was when a fellow youth minister talked about how this has to go full circle. We, as youth ministers also need the campus ministers to tell us when their graduates are joining our communities. For some reason this was not something that crossed my mind. It doesn't help me much that not many recent college grads have or will move to my current town. Yet still, this can and does happen in many communities.
It is possible to facilitate ministry coming full circle.
Imagine how amazing our parishes could be if there was a fluent and mostly smooth way for students to go full circle. Starting off at their home parishes as members of a youth group, then going off to college to become a member of an active campus ministry. Bring it all home when they graduate and go out into their new communities where they can become influential in a parish youth group. Such a circle of youth ministry would be awesome. It already happens, just look at all of us young people that are a part of ministry today. Still, it needs to improve, and I think it will.
I am optimistic for the future of youth ministry and our Church in general.

Peace all

God Won't Let Me Be Comfortable

I started an Adult Bible study a month or so ago. It's been great and something I have really looked forward to on Monday nights. Sharing and talking with adults about the faith is not something I have a lot of experience with. Nonetheless, things have gone great so far and the little group that has been there every Monday I feel very comfortable with.
I regret feeling so comfy cozy because I should have known that it would be shattered.
Last night an older gentleman joined us. I had never seen him before and from what I could tell no one else in the group knew who he was. He sat quietly until we finished up our opening prayer.
Immediately after prayer he asked if you could have a copy of it. I said sure and hit the print button... no big deal. As I tried to start discussion on what we covered last week he interrupted and wanted to know what Bible I was using. I said it was an RSV Ignatian Study Bible only to be followed by him giving a little speech about how there are different bibles out there and each one puts a different spin on things.
Okay, I could handle that, and it led to a bit of discussion. But the way this man spoke through me off guard. Despite the fact that I could not always follow what he was saying or trying to say, he spoke very loudly and quite literally stared at me while he spoke. All of this put me on edge for the rest of the night.
We got through two chapters of John's gospel and proceeded to begin discussion. Again, this gentleman spoke, bringing up points that I couldn't quite follow so all I could do was smile and nod my head as he stared at me. Thank God for the patience of the rest of the group. We continued to discuss topics that came up and things were going well. Through all this time I noticed that the gentleman kept staring at me a lot of the time... comfort is completely gone at this point, not the mention I am shaking a little bit because I am cold, coupled with the on-edge feeling that won't go away.
Finally, the evening and the gentleman start making a bit of sense. Our discussion improves, helped along a bit by our newcomer. It turns out he has not been to church in long time. From the sounds of it our new Pope is what has spurred him back. We attended mass last week and no doubt saw our adult bible study in the bulletin and here he was.
He turned out to be a nice gentleman, from what I can tell. Whether the elevator goes all the way to the top I can't quite tell. He said a few times how he wanted to write a prayer and was going to bring it to next weeks study. Whatever that is going to entail I will have to wait and see. He was also very interested in my study bible and wanted information on it.
I've never been comfortable around loose cannons. I was completely comfortable with the little group we had and that seems to be shattered for me now.
I know I'm complaining and that this is what happens to the faithful, we get tested and pulled out of our comfort zones all the time. Knowing that doesn't make it that much easier to handle though.
All I can do is pray to God for help to grow closer to him. Only then will I worry and fret less about "being comfortable".

Peace all