How Blessed Are We (Eulogy for My Sister)

How blessed are we… to have known Cara

For almost 34 years, this world was gifted with my big sister Cara. Many of us knew this day was coming. Prepare for as we could, no amount of preparation can ease the pain of losing her from this life. We almost lost her 6 years ago. She was in the ICU at St. Pats for a month and one night we got the call to come in because they didn’t think she was going to last much longer. Miraculously Cara survived. This last time in the hospital though, her strength finally gave out.

For those of you that didn’t know, Cara had a condition called Spinal Muscular Atrophy. Basically that meant that her muscles were very weak, and as she got older they slowly got weaker and weaker. That is why she was in a wheelchair for most of her life. She didn’t have the physical strength of most people, but my big sister was the strongest person I’ve ever known.

When thinking about readings for this the reading for the Gospel that I thought would be perfect were the Beatitudes. Cara lived the Beatitudes. She was meek and humble of heart. She fought for righteousness and justice for all. She was clean of heart and a true peacemaker.

She was the ultimate Griz fan. Only missing one home game in the last decade. Grizzly stadium will be a little quieter this next season. A true Packer fan, or “cheese head” she rarely missed watching the Packers if they were on TV. She'd even go to different mass if the Packer game conflicted with her normal Sunday mass time. The only time I ever heard Cara say anything mean was when she was yelling at the referees for making a bad call… a bad call in her view anyways. Cara loved life. Going to concerts and movies, hitting the town with friends. She never let anything slow her down.

I’ve had a little slide show on my computer for many years of my big sister Cara. Every group of youth i worked with I made sure to share her story with. How she never gave up. How she refused to the listen to the “experts” that said she probably wouldn’t be able to handle the rigors of college. I would tell that how inspirational she was to me and how I hoped she might be a source of inspiration for them.

I have no doubt that Cara inspired many people. Every person she met became an instant friend. If you ever feel like you haven’t been loved, I can honestly and sincerely tell you that if you knew Cara, you were, and are loved. Cara lived a life of love. A life we should all try to emulate.

There is so much more I could say about my big sister Cara. How she loved her independence. How she loved working out at New Directions at the University, where I’m pretty sure she enjoyed flirting with the cute college guys more than anything. How she loved playing Yatzee with our grandmother and great aunts, and making her favorite 7 layer dip every 4th of July.

The most important thing I want everyone to remember about Cara is how she loved and how she saw the best in every person.

I remember driving with her one day, which I did many times. I don’t know how we started talking about heaven and purgatory, but I remember telling her that I was pretty sure that she would be going straight to heaven. If she ever sinned, it wasn’t much, so her time in Purgatory I figured would be short or none at all. What I remember the most though is after telling her this, we sat in silence for a while. I could see she was thinking. What she said kinda shocked me, but looking back on it now, it makes perfect sense. She said to me “well, I’m pretty sure you will go right to heaven too”. I can assure all of you I’m not, but Cara didn’t see my many faults or mistakes. She always saw the best in me and I guarantee she saw the best in all of you, her family and friends.

Lastly I want to share some things that I know Cara would want all of us to know.

To all of her many, many friends, thank you. Thank you for the joy and the laughter you shared with her.

To her extended family, thank you for all the good times around the table and all fun we had.

To her doctors and nurses, thank you for taking such good care of her of the years.

To Brian, thank you for being a great big brother and taking care Cara when she was little.

To Dad, thank you for providing for every need Cara ever had. You were her favorite chauffeur and companion at Griz games.

And finally to Mom. You were her best friend, her travel companion and best shopping buddy. Your selfless love is a lesson to all of us. It wasn’t always easy, but Cara loved you more than you can know. Thank you for taking such good care of her for her whole life.

Cara is gone from this world and it might be hard to believe, but she can love us more fully now than she ever could before. She can and will be truly present with each of us.

So it’s okay to mourn her loss and shed some tears. But know that Cara is will us, through the laughter and the tears. Her love, like God’s love will never fade.

I love you Sis.