Who Am I?

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I'm just a guy trying to trust in God and be the best I can be for God and others, then myself.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Be Enchanted

Weekends with such a mix of emotions like I have just had are not necessarily fun, but are growing experiences. 
I helped a friend pack up and move back to, well, essential home. This is one of the only true friends I had even relatively close to me and now this person is across the country. It was a sad weekend because now, I'm not needed. If this friend ever really needed someone for serious help I would have most likely been the go-to person. Now, I'm not needed and for some reason I feel even more alone. Having a friend three hours away was a lot more comforting than having one 20 hours away. 
Also, I stepped back, though very, very briefly, into the college dorm life. Having friends living all around you, walking down the halls laughing or talking through the walls. Going out to movies and dinner or just random trips just to do something to not be bored. I know seeing all that is adding to me feeling very alone in the world.
I am very happy for my friend for accepting a new challenge and getting out of tough situation. Still, all weekend I was basically a dud and just did what I was asked. Lets face it, I don't handle my emotions well and one thing I hate to do is put my own stuff on other people. Hence, I use my blog as a one and only outlet most of the time.    
About the only thing I can do at the moment is relay what Father said in his homily this morning, as a small gesture of love.

Be enchanted by God because God is enchanted with you. 

I can't do Father's homily justice... definitely can't pull off the Irish accent. But that is basically what he said. 
'Enchanted' isn't a word that is used much nowadays, but it's the word he chose. God is so enchanted with us that He made us and loves us. After our baptism it is our turn to become enchanted by God. Love God deeply and let that love infect all that we do. 
Father also talked about the year ahead and a year in review so the homily and subsequent talk look a long time. I didn't mind though. 

And I can't explain it, but for one of the few times I was brought to tears, but held them back, after receiving communion and singing some of my favorite songs. It's almost as though I had a glimpse of heaven and what it might feel like. I long for that feeling again... of complete and utter gratefulness to God. I was enchanted by God, fully and completely, and now, after being pulled back into the world, the sadness thickens and all can pull myself to do is type.

Peace all

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