Changed and Sent

Over the last 40 days I've changed a lot. My life hasn't changed much, especially to someone from the outside looking in, but to me it has.
For almost 4 months I was woken up by a text. Now, it's just my cell phone alarm.
For almost 4 months I didn't feel so alone, and my heart raced when I got a text message. Now, my heart still races when my phone goes off, but then reality sets in.
That's the bad of it all.
I've changed for the good though, through the grace of God.
My prayer life is better, I'm going to mass more, and overall I'm just thinking about God more and more. Just a few months ago I didn't really have a whole lot of direction in my life. I was just a guy living at home and going to school. Now, I'm trying my hardest to place all my trust in God to allow Him to start leading me.
All of that is a good thing. The pain of losing a friend, someone I grew to care about deeply, really sucks, but the good outweighs the bad, if I can even call it bad. Pain changes a person, but with God's help, that change will be for the better.
In todays Gospel, Jesus sends out the Twelve, two by two. He gives them instructions on what to take and what not to take, and that's about it. He tells them to "stay in a house until you leave from there", which to my ears isn't really an instruction at all. The point of it all, as Father brought up at mass this morning is that Jesus doesn't tell them what to do. The Twelve are simply sent already with the knowledge of what they need to do and that is to follow the will of God. They do God's work without direct instruction.
Father put it this way. When we enter a church, especially our home parish, we know what to do. We know where to sit, we know when to stand, when to sing and when to say our prayers. We need to do that with all of the world, in every moment of our lives. That is what the Twelve did. They went out into the world with great joy and did great works for God. We can all do the same if we go out into the world trusting in God, with a joyful attitude, knowing He will guide us.
That's what I'm trying to do, and I will do. I'm waiting to be sent though.

Send me Lord where you need me to go. I'll trust in you and go where you need me, joyfully knowing you are in control.