When Family Time is Tough

My grandfather is on his way to full blown dementia. He's not too far gone yet, but watching the slow slide is not an easy thing for any of us.
Leaving the house is an ordeal for him and my grandmother. Being away from his house at all is tough. When he's at our house it's not long before he's ready to leave and head home. I know my grandmother needs to get out of the house, but it's such a struggle with him.
Tonight they came over for the Super Bowl. My grandpa used to be a big football fan, but he has no interest in much of anything anymore. He does like to talk sometimes, and that is always something that makes me nervous. He'll tell old stories, ones we've all heard before. I don't know why, but he likes to tell stories about his interactions with black people. This seems to go along with his tendency to be very crude lately. Saying racist or just mean things, always with a laugh from him, are getting more common. He also likes to make comments about my dad. Sometimes he says nice things, usually when he doesn't happen to be around my dad. But as soon as he is around my dad his comments become crude.
With the amount medications he's taking he also has, I guess you could say, bathroom problems. He has to wear an adult diaper and his smell is not a pleasant one. I know my grandmother does her best to keep him clean, but when they leave the house there isn't much she can do.
We've told her that when she needs help she needs to let us know. Hopefully she will, and hopefully my family will be able to step up and help however we can.
This is another aspect of my life that I have to give up to God in a lot of ways. My grandpa is healthy enough that he could live for a while longer. Sometimes I also get the hint that he's more aware of what is going on than we think he does. Also, watching some in my family treat him like a child is tough.
So many things to offer up to God, and all I know to do is act with compassion and love towards him and my grandma. Time with my grandpa is getting tough, but I know it's important, for all of us.

Lord, you take care of it, Your will be done.

Peace all