I'm not sure what mass it was at, but I keep thinking about what Father said during his homily about St. Joseph. He, St. Joseph, was a man of great prayer.
This is not an understanding that I ever thought about much. We know that he was a good guy and was also a good foster father to Jesus. Before all of that though, Joseph was a man of prayer. He would have done all that he was supposed to do as a Jewish gentleman and probably then some. What is most important is that because he had such a good prayer life he could tell when God was speaking to him. When the angel appeared to him in a dream he didn't question. His closeness to God assured him that God was instructing him, and thank goodness for that. If Joseph had not been a man of prayer he could have just shaken off the dream went on with his life. Yet his relationship with God was so strong he knew when God was speaking to him.
Was does all this mean for me? The same old thing really. To know God's direction for my life more clearly I must grow closer to Him, and I do that by prayer.
I don't know why, but when I am home I struggle with my prayer life more then when I am alone at my apartment.
I've got a lot of work to do.
Peace all
There is a longing we all have that cannot be fulfilled. Union with God is the only true source of joy, yet, the pull of worldly things persists. The struggle goes on, but God is with me all the way. Here are my thoughts, findings and ramblings as I try to be my perfect self, for the glory of God.
Who Am I?
- D-Wherl
- I'm just a guy trying to trust in God and be the best I can be for God and others, then myself.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Worst "Catholic" University
From what I've read and heard, Georgetown takes the cake for the worst large "Catholic" university, and as far as I know there is a petition out there to have its Catholic standing removed. I say go for it.
What is frustrating is the smaller "Catholic" universities and colleges that are out that might be doing just as much damage to the Catholic faith as big ol' Georgetown.
Especially frustrating is the fact that one of the "Catholic" universities is directly affecting one of my dear friends and I honestly don't know what I can do.
The University of Great Falls is very much, from what I've been told, Catholic only in name, not in action. Currently, they have no Catholic campus minister. There had been a young lady in the position earlier in the year, but she quit. Apparently she could not take the lack of support and gave up on fighting a losing battle. There is however a protestant campus minister who is at the moment in charge also of Catholic ministries, like setting up mass and being in charge of the Sacristy. This I find completely absurd and pretty much down right terrible. There is no daily mass and no permanent priest on campus to boot.
For some reason the president of the school is completely fine with this and basically asked the one person on campus trying to make sure the school has any visible Catholicity to kindly leave.
I know writing this isn't going to do much of anything.
I pray for the president of the University of Great Falls and for all the students who are not being given a proper and true Catholic education.
What is frustrating is the smaller "Catholic" universities and colleges that are out that might be doing just as much damage to the Catholic faith as big ol' Georgetown.
Especially frustrating is the fact that one of the "Catholic" universities is directly affecting one of my dear friends and I honestly don't know what I can do.
The University of Great Falls is very much, from what I've been told, Catholic only in name, not in action. Currently, they have no Catholic campus minister. There had been a young lady in the position earlier in the year, but she quit. Apparently she could not take the lack of support and gave up on fighting a losing battle. There is however a protestant campus minister who is at the moment in charge also of Catholic ministries, like setting up mass and being in charge of the Sacristy. This I find completely absurd and pretty much down right terrible. There is no daily mass and no permanent priest on campus to boot.
For some reason the president of the school is completely fine with this and basically asked the one person on campus trying to make sure the school has any visible Catholicity to kindly leave.
I know writing this isn't going to do much of anything.
I pray for the president of the University of Great Falls and for all the students who are not being given a proper and true Catholic education.
Being a Church Mouse
I never had a great word to describe myself when I am back at my home parish until last night. My father, who is very active at our parish, volunteered me to usher with him for a Christmas Eve mass. That was fine... I've basically come to expect that I will have to do something whenever I set foot in my home parish.
After arriving at church and getting my ushering duties underway I was also asked to be an Extraordinary Minister. Again, not a problem, I've worked double duty before.
With fifteen minutes to go before mass was supposed to start it was clear that we were going to have some overflow. This normally isn't a problem. We have a downstairs hall where the mass is broadcast so the overflow can still be a part of the mass. Problem was, the parish did not think this would be needed so there was no one to run the camera. Father came out and asked if anyone could run it... no response. So, yours truly got to run the camera while another usher and minister were found.
My Christmas Eve mass was spent by myself, sitting in front of screen controlling a little joystick to follow the mass so all at church could witness.
Towards the end of mass Father wanted to thank all those who helped with the mass including the church mice behind the scenes.
There you have it, I will forever remember being called a church mouse, because that is what I have been, was and will continue to be at my home parish. I work, quietly, behind the scenes and I'm happy to do so.
I hope you all had a Merry Christmas.
Peace and goodwill to all!
After arriving at church and getting my ushering duties underway I was also asked to be an Extraordinary Minister. Again, not a problem, I've worked double duty before.
With fifteen minutes to go before mass was supposed to start it was clear that we were going to have some overflow. This normally isn't a problem. We have a downstairs hall where the mass is broadcast so the overflow can still be a part of the mass. Problem was, the parish did not think this would be needed so there was no one to run the camera. Father came out and asked if anyone could run it... no response. So, yours truly got to run the camera while another usher and minister were found.
My Christmas Eve mass was spent by myself, sitting in front of screen controlling a little joystick to follow the mass so all at church could witness.
Towards the end of mass Father wanted to thank all those who helped with the mass including the church mice behind the scenes.
There you have it, I will forever remember being called a church mouse, because that is what I have been, was and will continue to be at my home parish. I work, quietly, behind the scenes and I'm happy to do so.
I hope you all had a Merry Christmas.
Peace and goodwill to all!
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Full Circle Youth Ministry
The youth ministers in my diocese had a meeting today. Let me just say, I love these meetings. It is so great getting together with my co-workers to talk and share.
There were a few campus ministers there from a local college and university. Our intent was to dialogue with them about how we can better work together, youth ministers at parishes and campus ministers at schools. A lot of it just boiled down to passing on information and making sure our youth go off to college with the knowledge of who can continue to help them with their faith lives. It was a great discussion and I personally got a few ideas of how to help my youth transition to college. What blew me away was when a fellow youth minister talked about how this has to go full circle. We, as youth ministers also need the campus ministers to tell us when their graduates are joining our communities. For some reason this was not something that crossed my mind. It doesn't help me much that not many recent college grads have or will move to my current town. Yet still, this can and does happen in many communities.
It is possible to facilitate ministry coming full circle.
Imagine how amazing our parishes could be if there was a fluent and mostly smooth way for students to go full circle. Starting off at their home parishes as members of a youth group, then going off to college to become a member of an active campus ministry. Bring it all home when they graduate and go out into their new communities where they can become influential in a parish youth group. Such a circle of youth ministry would be awesome. It already happens, just look at all of us young people that are a part of ministry today. Still, it needs to improve, and I think it will.
I am optimistic for the future of youth ministry and our Church in general.
Peace all
There were a few campus ministers there from a local college and university. Our intent was to dialogue with them about how we can better work together, youth ministers at parishes and campus ministers at schools. A lot of it just boiled down to passing on information and making sure our youth go off to college with the knowledge of who can continue to help them with their faith lives. It was a great discussion and I personally got a few ideas of how to help my youth transition to college. What blew me away was when a fellow youth minister talked about how this has to go full circle. We, as youth ministers also need the campus ministers to tell us when their graduates are joining our communities. For some reason this was not something that crossed my mind. It doesn't help me much that not many recent college grads have or will move to my current town. Yet still, this can and does happen in many communities.
It is possible to facilitate ministry coming full circle.
Imagine how amazing our parishes could be if there was a fluent and mostly smooth way for students to go full circle. Starting off at their home parishes as members of a youth group, then going off to college to become a member of an active campus ministry. Bring it all home when they graduate and go out into their new communities where they can become influential in a parish youth group. Such a circle of youth ministry would be awesome. It already happens, just look at all of us young people that are a part of ministry today. Still, it needs to improve, and I think it will.
I am optimistic for the future of youth ministry and our Church in general.
Peace all
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
God Won't Let Me Be Comfortable
I started an Adult Bible study a month or so ago. It's been great and something I have really looked forward to on Monday nights. Sharing and talking with adults about the faith is not something I have a lot of experience with. Nonetheless, things have gone great so far and the little group that has been there every Monday I feel very comfortable with.
I regret feeling so comfy cozy because I should have known that it would be shattered.
Last night an older gentleman joined us. I had never seen him before and from what I could tell no one else in the group knew who he was. He sat quietly until we finished up our opening prayer.
Immediately after prayer he asked if you could have a copy of it. I said sure and hit the print button... no big deal. As I tried to start discussion on what we covered last week he interrupted and wanted to know what Bible I was using. I said it was an RSV Ignatian Study Bible only to be followed by him giving a little speech about how there are different bibles out there and each one puts a different spin on things.
Okay, I could handle that, and it led to a bit of discussion. But the way this man spoke through me off guard. Despite the fact that I could not always follow what he was saying or trying to say, he spoke very loudly and quite literally stared at me while he spoke. All of this put me on edge for the rest of the night.
We got through two chapters of John's gospel and proceeded to begin discussion. Again, this gentleman spoke, bringing up points that I couldn't quite follow so all I could do was smile and nod my head as he stared at me. Thank God for the patience of the rest of the group. We continued to discuss topics that came up and things were going well. Through all this time I noticed that the gentleman kept staring at me a lot of the time... comfort is completely gone at this point, not the mention I am shaking a little bit because I am cold, coupled with the on-edge feeling that won't go away.
Finally, the evening and the gentleman start making a bit of sense. Our discussion improves, helped along a bit by our newcomer. It turns out he has not been to church in long time. From the sounds of it our new Pope is what has spurred him back. We attended mass last week and no doubt saw our adult bible study in the bulletin and here he was.
He turned out to be a nice gentleman, from what I can tell. Whether the elevator goes all the way to the top I can't quite tell. He said a few times how he wanted to write a prayer and was going to bring it to next weeks study. Whatever that is going to entail I will have to wait and see. He was also very interested in my study bible and wanted information on it.
I've never been comfortable around loose cannons. I was completely comfortable with the little group we had and that seems to be shattered for me now.
I know I'm complaining and that this is what happens to the faithful, we get tested and pulled out of our comfort zones all the time. Knowing that doesn't make it that much easier to handle though.
All I can do is pray to God for help to grow closer to him. Only then will I worry and fret less about "being comfortable".
Peace all
I regret feeling so comfy cozy because I should have known that it would be shattered.
Last night an older gentleman joined us. I had never seen him before and from what I could tell no one else in the group knew who he was. He sat quietly until we finished up our opening prayer.
Immediately after prayer he asked if you could have a copy of it. I said sure and hit the print button... no big deal. As I tried to start discussion on what we covered last week he interrupted and wanted to know what Bible I was using. I said it was an RSV Ignatian Study Bible only to be followed by him giving a little speech about how there are different bibles out there and each one puts a different spin on things.
Okay, I could handle that, and it led to a bit of discussion. But the way this man spoke through me off guard. Despite the fact that I could not always follow what he was saying or trying to say, he spoke very loudly and quite literally stared at me while he spoke. All of this put me on edge for the rest of the night.
We got through two chapters of John's gospel and proceeded to begin discussion. Again, this gentleman spoke, bringing up points that I couldn't quite follow so all I could do was smile and nod my head as he stared at me. Thank God for the patience of the rest of the group. We continued to discuss topics that came up and things were going well. Through all this time I noticed that the gentleman kept staring at me a lot of the time... comfort is completely gone at this point, not the mention I am shaking a little bit because I am cold, coupled with the on-edge feeling that won't go away.
Finally, the evening and the gentleman start making a bit of sense. Our discussion improves, helped along a bit by our newcomer. It turns out he has not been to church in long time. From the sounds of it our new Pope is what has spurred him back. We attended mass last week and no doubt saw our adult bible study in the bulletin and here he was.
He turned out to be a nice gentleman, from what I can tell. Whether the elevator goes all the way to the top I can't quite tell. He said a few times how he wanted to write a prayer and was going to bring it to next weeks study. Whatever that is going to entail I will have to wait and see. He was also very interested in my study bible and wanted information on it.
I've never been comfortable around loose cannons. I was completely comfortable with the little group we had and that seems to be shattered for me now.
I know I'm complaining and that this is what happens to the faithful, we get tested and pulled out of our comfort zones all the time. Knowing that doesn't make it that much easier to handle though.
All I can do is pray to God for help to grow closer to him. Only then will I worry and fret less about "being comfortable".
Peace all
Friday, December 6, 2013
Being a Man of Prayer
So I have to give a little talk this weekend about being a man of prayer. Here is what I got, minus the PowerPoint presentation that goes along with it.
Being a man of prayer is a duty we hold as Catholic gentleman, but it can be seen as a daunting task. To be a man of prayer there is one very essential understanding that needs to be accepted; prayer needs to be the center of our lives. To live a life without prayer is to live a life without a relationship with God. Jesus tells us in Luke's gospel to "pray always without becoming weary" (Luke 18:1). Think of Jesus himself and how often he prayed. We can read in many places in the gospels were Jesus prayed. Can you think of any right now? Whether alone on a mountain side or in the garden, with a group of his apostles, before a meal, during his Passion, and even for an entire night, prayer was a central part of Jesus' life. To be a man of prayer you must strive to emulate Jesus.
Now there are some things we have to further understand about prayer if we are to make it central to our lives. One thing I was told growing up was that anytime I felt the need to pray, that was the Holy Spirit acting in my life. I have experienced many times when I can't explain why but I felt the need to pray or remembered that I needed to pray at a certain moment. Those were times when the spirit was active in my life. This is not a foreign concept because Paul tells us that the spirit will help us in our prayers (Romans 8:26-27). We as humans are incapable of praying perfectly so the spirit is there to help us, and I believe push us to pray and pray better.
Yet, even though we always receive help in our prayers, making prayer central in our lives requires perseverance and faith. For some this can be very challenging. There is not a person out there that does not at times struggle in their prayer life and we cannot beat ourselves up when we do struggle. Two points that I believe are important here are one; we should not compare our own prayer lives to others, and two; we are incapable of praying perfectly. Regarding the first point, each person's prayer life is their own, it's their own relationship to God. If we begin comparing our own prayer lives to other people we can harm ourselves in a couple different ways. We may feel frustrated because we think other people have better prayer lives or we may feel pride in thinking our prayer life is better then others and therefore think of ourselves as being better and essentially failing to be humble. I have to admit that I have experienced both in my own life. Being jealous of the prayer life of friends and also feeling way to good about myself for thinking I had a better prayer life. Now regarding the second point, we must understand that we really don't know what we are doing when we pray, especially as youngsters but even into adulthood. Clearly, this is why we need the spirit's help. But like most things in life, prayer takes practice. We cannot beat ourselves up when prayer does not come easily. We get distracted, we start and stop or can't find the right words. It happens to all of us, but with practice and the help of the Holy Spirit our prayer lives can and will improve.
Men of prayer I believe fully live out and express one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit that is received at confirmation, that gift being the fear of the Lord. This gift is not about being afraid of God or his punishment. Fear of the Lord is more about a fear of being separated from the Lord. Think of a child who screams and cries when their parents drop them off at school for the first time or the kid who looses their mom or dad in a crowd and immediately they become scared and fearful. Just like that child, men of prayer fear being away from God. The thought of not having God in their life is unimaginable and unthinkable. A man of prayer has a relationship with God that cannot be broken easily because they pray often and maintain that relationship. To be a man of prayer you must desire a relationship with God, cultivate it and maintain it. They live out St. Paul's words to the Ephesians when he says to "pray at every opportunity in the Spirit" (Ephesians 6:18).
Being a man of prayer is a duty we hold as Catholic gentleman, but it can be seen as a daunting task. To be a man of prayer there is one very essential understanding that needs to be accepted; prayer needs to be the center of our lives. To live a life without prayer is to live a life without a relationship with God. Jesus tells us in Luke's gospel to "pray always without becoming weary" (Luke 18:1). Think of Jesus himself and how often he prayed. We can read in many places in the gospels were Jesus prayed. Can you think of any right now? Whether alone on a mountain side or in the garden, with a group of his apostles, before a meal, during his Passion, and even for an entire night, prayer was a central part of Jesus' life. To be a man of prayer you must strive to emulate Jesus.
Now there are some things we have to further understand about prayer if we are to make it central to our lives. One thing I was told growing up was that anytime I felt the need to pray, that was the Holy Spirit acting in my life. I have experienced many times when I can't explain why but I felt the need to pray or remembered that I needed to pray at a certain moment. Those were times when the spirit was active in my life. This is not a foreign concept because Paul tells us that the spirit will help us in our prayers (Romans 8:26-27). We as humans are incapable of praying perfectly so the spirit is there to help us, and I believe push us to pray and pray better.
Yet, even though we always receive help in our prayers, making prayer central in our lives requires perseverance and faith. For some this can be very challenging. There is not a person out there that does not at times struggle in their prayer life and we cannot beat ourselves up when we do struggle. Two points that I believe are important here are one; we should not compare our own prayer lives to others, and two; we are incapable of praying perfectly. Regarding the first point, each person's prayer life is their own, it's their own relationship to God. If we begin comparing our own prayer lives to other people we can harm ourselves in a couple different ways. We may feel frustrated because we think other people have better prayer lives or we may feel pride in thinking our prayer life is better then others and therefore think of ourselves as being better and essentially failing to be humble. I have to admit that I have experienced both in my own life. Being jealous of the prayer life of friends and also feeling way to good about myself for thinking I had a better prayer life. Now regarding the second point, we must understand that we really don't know what we are doing when we pray, especially as youngsters but even into adulthood. Clearly, this is why we need the spirit's help. But like most things in life, prayer takes practice. We cannot beat ourselves up when prayer does not come easily. We get distracted, we start and stop or can't find the right words. It happens to all of us, but with practice and the help of the Holy Spirit our prayer lives can and will improve.
Men of prayer I believe fully live out and express one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit that is received at confirmation, that gift being the fear of the Lord. This gift is not about being afraid of God or his punishment. Fear of the Lord is more about a fear of being separated from the Lord. Think of a child who screams and cries when their parents drop them off at school for the first time or the kid who looses their mom or dad in a crowd and immediately they become scared and fearful. Just like that child, men of prayer fear being away from God. The thought of not having God in their life is unimaginable and unthinkable. A man of prayer has a relationship with God that cannot be broken easily because they pray often and maintain that relationship. To be a man of prayer you must desire a relationship with God, cultivate it and maintain it. They live out St. Paul's words to the Ephesians when he says to "pray at every opportunity in the Spirit" (Ephesians 6:18).
Monday, December 2, 2013
The Circle of Life
As I wind from Thanksgiving I have to stop and ponder my family interactions over the past year.
My grandfather is slowly developing dementia. He had some health scares a few years back and for the most part those have cleared up. It is his mind that is slipping and I have to admit is difficult to be a part of. I can only speculate, but if it were a quicker process maybe it would be easier. Reminding myself every time I see him that I need to be patient, and also wonder how my grandma is doing are common thoughts now. If it were quicker though, I'm sure that would only present different challenges. Fast or slow, I am grateful for the time I have with him.
There are good moments and bad moments. He tells us the same stories over and over again. Sometimes the stories change, sometimes he mixes one story with another. Those are the bad times, at least for now.
What I don't like, or at least it's something I worry about, is how some in my family treat him like a child. Yes, he might act like a kid every now and then, but its hard for me to watch others treat him like one. I've made it a point for myself not to treat him like any less of a man. That's the least I can do for him I figure.
It's weird actually seeing the circle of life come full tilt. I know many others out there have experienced this with their loved ones.
Personally, I don't know whether or not I need to plan for what I know, or at least can speculate, is coming in the near future.
I've been away from home and I still am at the moment, just not quite as far.
Do I take this as an opportunity to be there for my family, considering all that has happened and is currently happening, or am I using it as an excuse to not go out and, as they say, explore the world a little more?
Again, I think I know the answer, or at least what I would like to do.
Here's praying for clarity to know God's divine will for my life.
Peace all
My grandfather is slowly developing dementia. He had some health scares a few years back and for the most part those have cleared up. It is his mind that is slipping and I have to admit is difficult to be a part of. I can only speculate, but if it were a quicker process maybe it would be easier. Reminding myself every time I see him that I need to be patient, and also wonder how my grandma is doing are common thoughts now. If it were quicker though, I'm sure that would only present different challenges. Fast or slow, I am grateful for the time I have with him.
There are good moments and bad moments. He tells us the same stories over and over again. Sometimes the stories change, sometimes he mixes one story with another. Those are the bad times, at least for now.
What I don't like, or at least it's something I worry about, is how some in my family treat him like a child. Yes, he might act like a kid every now and then, but its hard for me to watch others treat him like one. I've made it a point for myself not to treat him like any less of a man. That's the least I can do for him I figure.
It's weird actually seeing the circle of life come full tilt. I know many others out there have experienced this with their loved ones.
Personally, I don't know whether or not I need to plan for what I know, or at least can speculate, is coming in the near future.
I've been away from home and I still am at the moment, just not quite as far.
Do I take this as an opportunity to be there for my family, considering all that has happened and is currently happening, or am I using it as an excuse to not go out and, as they say, explore the world a little more?
Again, I think I know the answer, or at least what I would like to do.
Here's praying for clarity to know God's divine will for my life.
Peace all
Sunday, December 1, 2013
What is Happiness?
I will not be happy until I can give my life over to God.
A bold and scary statement that my mind has been mulling over for a while. It's not that I'm unhappy or unappreciative of the many blessing I have in my life. I feel like I'm not really doing a whole lot with my life while I am in the prime of my life.
Being home for Thanksgiving for the first time in seven years was great. Yet, after seven years nothing has really changed. We got together at the same places, with the same family members and ate the same food. And just like seven years ago, I'm single and feel very much like a college freshman who has no idea where his life is going.
With all the reading and living I have done, it's clear to me that doing God's will is what will bring me the most happiness, but how do I figure out what God's divine will is for me? Unfortunately I know that this is a question that cannot easily be answered. Every time in the past when I though I was on the right path it turned out to not be. Maybe I just have to be content in knowing that nothing for me comes quickly and I just have to be patient.
Articulating my wants and desires at the moment are difficult for me as well. I would love to have a family and be intimately close to someone whom I can share my life with. Still, I don't have the means to support a family nor will I be able to in the near future.
Maybe I need to do something radical and delve into something that will allow me to support a family someday.
Maybe... I think... someday...
It will happen, understanding I mean. I trust God and I know that the closer I get to God the more quickly and clearly He will respond to my prayers.
Self pity and loathing isn't helping. Only growing closer to God will help.
I will not be happy until I can give my life over to God (but if that could include a loving family that would sure be nice : ) )
Peace all
A bold and scary statement that my mind has been mulling over for a while. It's not that I'm unhappy or unappreciative of the many blessing I have in my life. I feel like I'm not really doing a whole lot with my life while I am in the prime of my life.
Being home for Thanksgiving for the first time in seven years was great. Yet, after seven years nothing has really changed. We got together at the same places, with the same family members and ate the same food. And just like seven years ago, I'm single and feel very much like a college freshman who has no idea where his life is going.
With all the reading and living I have done, it's clear to me that doing God's will is what will bring me the most happiness, but how do I figure out what God's divine will is for me? Unfortunately I know that this is a question that cannot easily be answered. Every time in the past when I though I was on the right path it turned out to not be. Maybe I just have to be content in knowing that nothing for me comes quickly and I just have to be patient.
Articulating my wants and desires at the moment are difficult for me as well. I would love to have a family and be intimately close to someone whom I can share my life with. Still, I don't have the means to support a family nor will I be able to in the near future.
Maybe I need to do something radical and delve into something that will allow me to support a family someday.
Maybe... I think... someday...
It will happen, understanding I mean. I trust God and I know that the closer I get to God the more quickly and clearly He will respond to my prayers.
Self pity and loathing isn't helping. Only growing closer to God will help.
I will not be happy until I can give my life over to God (but if that could include a loving family that would sure be nice : ) )
Peace all
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