Happy Birthday!

To the Church of course.

Pentecost... what a wonderful event and one that I tried my best to drill into my students at the beginning of the year.
One event holds so much importance!... and allowed for multiple test questions.

• What is the birthday of the Church?
• When did the Holy Spirit descend upon the Apostles and Mary?
• What event is the official start of Church history?
• What day marks the end of the Easter Season?

It is on this day, when I remembered to wear red, that reminds me of one of the greatest bits of knowledge I have ever heard.  Every time you think about praying, it is the Holy Spirit working in you, pushing and prodding you to speak with God.  I still will thank the Holy Spirit at those weird moments when I have a sudden urge to pray... and I always smile.
So here's to letting the Holy Spirit be our guide, just as it was way back when as it gave the disciples of Jesus the courage to go out and spread the Good News.
I'm trying Holy Spirit... please keep pushing me.

Peace!

Last Lesson

Teaching is a funny thing.  There are so many different ways to asses how effective your teaching has been.  Tests, quizzes, projects... and a fun one for me; how my students treat each other.
I am in no way a great teacher. I tell my students that all the time and they just say "yes, you are!"  and I just say "thanks"  with my most condescending tone.
So today, I felt compelled to try to try to teach my seniors something.  I took a blog post from my favorite blog, Bad Catholic, and did my best to turn it into a PowerPoint that I could share with my students.  I think it went alright.  It is honestly very difficult to tell considering my audience were in the midst of their last day of their high school career.
Nevertheless, I am glad I did it.  If any of it sunk in; great!  If not, I at least tried.
I did enjoy my last comment to them though... I remember it going something like this... "please, please, don't become a person who would like hell better then heaven"
Graduation day tomorrow and I head home in a week!

Peace!

Greatness!

Is it weird to have a feeling that I am destined for greatness?
I had these thoughts while at mass today.  The deacon, after talking about how we are not alone even though Jesus ascended into heaven, said something in his homily that allowed me to drift off into my own thoughts, which happens quite often.
Those dreams of greatness, of fame that we have when we are young have not gone away for me.  I have this feeling that God is going to use me for some kind of greatness.  I use "greatness" loosely, because it could be greatness for the world or just a few people... God only knows at this point... haha!  Yet greatness is what I will accomplish, on whatever lever, for God, if I keep to the path He has for me.  Thinking about all of this I read the quote that I have off to the side here... right over there ---->
My struggle is to do things the way God wants me to do them, and not the way that I want to do them, which is always the easy way and more pleasing to me.  Am I going to complain about it? You already know the answer to that... of course I am!  I am getting quite good at complaining about the path God has me on, but I am still on it ; )  I'm not straying, as much I want to.

Peace all

50 Already?!

I'm sitting watching my favorite television channel, OutdoorHD, feeling a lot less stressed and pissed, thinking about what to write for my 50th post.  After my last rant, I don't know what to say really. That haunted stuff isn't going away any time soon, but after a crazy weekend I am feeling a lot better.  At the end of the day, I know I have lots of support, and for that, I thank you all.
I'm still thinking a lot.  Haven't had any revelations other then that I really can't complain a whole lot about things.  I have a job, money, wonder friends and family and the wonderful Catholic faith that challenges me each and every day.
On the feast of Saint Isidore the farmer I have been reflecting on what I have done and what I will need to do.  I will not be as fortunate as St. Isidore and have Angels do my work for me.  I do have a lot of work to do though.  By no means am I living up to the person I need to be, and I really need to start focusing on that.  Maybe that will be my mission for my next year in the desert.
I need to set the example for what a young, Catholic, single guy should be... that also isn't a seminarian.

There is some beauty down here... you just have to let God show it to you.

Peace all.

Haunted, Stressed and Pissed

The title sums it up I guess, but it explains very little. That is were this little rant comes in to allow me to get some things off my chest in my latest of selfish acts.
I'm pissed at God.  Not for any really good reasons.  Mostly because what I have been believing will be the best for me and for others over and over again is wrong.  I thought I needed to go home, to be with my family, to finally maybe get the rest of my life started.  I thought I found someone that God was leading me to.  I thought I would go home and start making an impact on the people and the place I love and grew up with.  I thought it would all work out great.
I thought... I thought... I thought.... I thought wrong apparently.

Now that my thoughts have failed me, I'm stressing out.
Things were going to be so much easier with moving home and having everything there that I needed.  Now I am stuck in the desert for another year and have to find a new place to live and figure out who I am going to live with, if anybody.  I will have to teach a new curriculum, which means... more work!  And I also have to stay in a place where I understand that I am very much needed and wanted, but at the same time feel the most alone and isolated.

Now I am haunted; with what could have been and what is now.  Finding out your ex who you dated for 3 1/2 years is now engaged after dating a guy for 8 months makes me feel like shit.  I am happy for her, but part of me still wants the relationship to crash and burn like the Hindenburg.  "A learning experience", "its a part of growing up"... I have heard it all, thought about all of it.  Well, I guess my learning experience is continuing while everyone else gets to live the American f**king Dream.   And oh, ya, we live in the same town that I was hoping to escape... can't wait for that first awkward meeting.

Oh well, I am where God needs me I guess and with all this I have to put on the happiest face I can muster each and every day because I really can't complain that much.  I might be the only bright moment for some of my students, as sad as that is, so I have to put that smile on my face and bring the joy each and every day.

We all bare our own crosses.

God grant me the strength to continue working for Your glory, and not mine.

Peace

Judging

This is tough, and something I need to work on.

I really like the quote at the end... "he who soothes a sinner with flattering words administers fuel to his sin"
I have a tough time, because I don't want to make people angry and I do not want people to think that I don't like them or who they are.  Still, I am surrounded by sin, everywhere I go.  I guess I need to nut up and start letting people know what they are doing is hurting them.
God grant me the strength and the courage to be able to do that.

Peace all

I Want a Crucifixion Type Love

... but only if God's wants that for me.

Peace all!