Cool Vid

Found this while searching through Youtube...  I wanted to remember it so why not post it on my new blog!

Peace

A Little Cleansing

Sitting in my empty living room around midnight something moved me to do a little cleansing.
I have this shoe-box (very cliche, I know) of stuff from a past relationship.  I went through it somewhat quickly, reminiscing as I went.  I kept some things I must admit, but most things ended up in a plastic bag that is going to go in the trash.
I have moved on, and so has she, and now more of the stuff is gone.  It is weird to me that a box full of good memories is something I am throwing away.  I tend to keep a lot of things for sentimental reasons (not really a good habit)  but these things I see no reason to hold onto anymore.  They are wonderful memories from the past, don't get me wrong.  The thing about memories though, at least for me, is one memory leads to another, and then another until I end up at a memory I don't really want to remember.  But those memories are also ones I need to remember.
The good ones are great, but it is the bad memories, the mistakes that I made, that I really feel a need to hold onto.  I refuse to make the same mistakes and those bad memories are a reminder for me.
So, the majority of the stuff is gone because honestly it is just that, stuff.  The memories remain, good and bad, and tomorrow is a new day to give to God as best I can.

Peace

Ups and Downs

Sitting in Adoration today with my classes went as usual.  I get a few minutes of silence for prayer and then I mostly look like I am praying while listening around me to make sure students are staying silent.
Luckily all it usually takes to get students to be quiet is a quick look from me.
Today was tougher though in terms of prayer.  I seem to be on one of my downward turns as far as prayer.  Last week I did great.  Waking up most mornings to pray and starting off my day wonderfully.
This last week though, I still woke up early but then hit the snooze and said a quick prayer after rolling out of bed.
The ups and downs of prayer are frustrating.  Like most things in life, prayer takes practice.  I need to just keep pushing and on my ups really take advantage and on my downs do a little better each time.

My Roof

So again at mass tonight I had another thought.
I kinda like the new translation of the response to the Ecce Agnus Dei, where the priest elevates the Eucharist and says:

“Behold the Lamb of God, behold him who takes away the sins of the world. Blessed are those called to the supper of the Lamb.”

And the response being:


“Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.”

I at first thought that this new translation was weird, and it sounded awkward to me.  After having finally memorized it I actually like it.
As you might know from one of my last posts, I am trying to grow closer to Christ and I this new translation seems to be helping me with that.
Saying that I am not worthy for Christ to enter under my roof does help me see him more as he really is, a human being.  Jesus Christ is somebody I can talk to, have a chat with, maybe even someday give a "high-five" to (which is another thought that went through my head at mass, which made me smile).  Saying this really helps me and reminds me that I can have a personal relationship with him.   He has gone through things I have gone through, experienced a lot of the same things and he can be my personal friend, if only I can let him in.
So yes, I am not worthy for Jesus to enter under my roof, just like the centurion from the Gospel of Matthew, but I thank him so much for joining me anyways.

Peace!

Do I Know Jesus?

Before mass, I always thank God for allowing myself and all gathered at the Church to be there.  Then I have some others things I pray, one of which is asking God that everybody present here may take something away something from this mass to help them grow closer to God and to know how much God loves us.
This always happens for me, in one way or another and I really enjoyed what I took away from today's mass so I thought I would share it.
The deacon who gave the homily today asked a question that really got me thinking.  He asked whether or not we really know Jesus?  This got me thinking.  Yes, I know Jesus, but do I really KNOW Jesus.  I know a lot about Jesus, more so then most since that is what I went to college for, but that does not mean I KNOW Jesus necessarily.  I look at it now and it seems like the simplest thing, having a personal relationship with Jesus is what we are all called to have.  Do I honestly have that type of relationship with Jesus? The answer, truthfully, would be no.  I do not have a personal relationship with Jesus.  It is something I have always struggled with.  For me it is easier to have a relationship with God the Father, and Jesus has always been the Son, who lived on the same earth I now live on.  I have put up roadblocks, or excuses or whatever you want to call them and have failed to cultivate a personal relationship with Jesus.  I will say, I have been a hypocrite, telling others they need a relationship with Jesus while I have not done that at all.  I pray all the time, never as much as I should or could.  Still, I have failed to grow closer to Jesus, the one who died for me, gave his life for me, suffered for me, so that I might have eternal life.  It is time I start trying to grow closer to him.
So to my list of prayers I add another... God, help me to grow closer to and to truly KNOW your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.

Peace

Complaining...

So being a coach can be tough.  It can also be extremely rewarding.  I am at the moment feeling very frustrated with coaching.  I don't really "coach" that much.  I am more around to supervise and be present for the athletes.  The problem with this is that I get to hear all of the complaining.  Our team has yet to win a game so the complaints seem to fly throughout practice.
"Why are we doing this?"
"We should be working on something else"
"This is stupid and pointless"
I have heard it all and it is starting to make me sick.  I am tired of having to defend what the other coaches are trying to have the athletes work on.
The root of all of this seems to me to be selfishness.  These athletes want to do what they think they need to do.  They look for any reason to criticize and instead of appreciating what they are doing and having fun they are just waiting for the end of practice or they are goofing off.
It is a lack of charity, a lack of doing what is right for others.  Not all of the athletes complain or criticize.  Is it fair to them to have all their teammates doing just that?
I really want to tell them to either appreciate that they actually get to play the game or just get off the field.
No coach is perfect, no team is perfect.  Why is it so hard to except that?
The culture of the team is so off... I wish I had the knowledge or strength or gumption to change it.

First post

So its a new year, I am halfway through my second year of teaching and hopefully come June I will have some  direction in my life.  I have really tried to make an effort to trust in God and let God guide me.  I don't really know if I am doing that or not, which is really tough.
I feel like I need to be closer to home, for lots of different reasons, mostly due to family, and I feel really okay with that.
Do I have any job possibilities back home? Not at the moment.
Am I really worried about that? No.
Am I okay with leaving a good job where I am well liked? At this point, yes, but that is also what I thought this time last here, and here I am.
So I guess with this blog I will hopefully be able to check myself, report on my where I am at and generally blog what it is like to finally start to grow up as a young, Catholic male.

Peace!