I want to be a good guy.
This shouldn't be a revelation to me, but understandings this simple are usually a long time coming for me, for a lot of different reasons.
I've been the nice guy, always seeking the approval of others, or at least doing whatever I could to not upset people. I do care way to much about what people think of me, even when I am always telling myself I don't.
I like to think I'm not afraid of anything, but being the nice guy is the one of the most fearful ways to live. Living life being afraid of upsetting people has kept me from a great deal of life experiences. The fear of being wrong may be the greatest fear I have lived with... almost on a constant basis. My life is structured around doing things that will limit me being wrong in any decision I make. Maybe this is normal, but it's a crappy way to live.
I need to be a good guy and live a life that reflects that. In that respect, I have the greatest "good guy" ever to look up to... Jesus Christ.
Jesus wasn't a nice guy, he was a good guy, the best guy ever in all actuality. He wasn't afraid of upsetting people, but he didn't go around calling people out. He loved with his whole heart and knew it was his goal to lead people closer to his Father.
Jesus had inner strength, even more then any man today can imagine. He had courage to always follow his Father's will. Jesus had more character in his little finger then I have in my whole person. He knew who he was and did not need the approval of anyone. He was the greatest leader of all time and never claimed to be anything he wasn't; no one has ever been more authentic. The endurance of Jesus is not even comprehensible for us humans. He was in the beginning and will be even past the end. He has been and always will be... he never stops... that is endurance.
So I need to be all of those also, in whatever way I can be. Living in fear needs to go out the window. Making mistakes shouldn't scare me. I've made plenty up to this point in my life and I'm still doing just fine. I don't have any enemies... none that I know of anyway... but maybe I need some.
I still don't know what God is calling me to in my life, but I'm sure being a good guy and not a nice guy will help in whatever God has in store for my life.
Here's to being a good guy. Watch out world, no more Mr. Nice Guy for me!
Peace all
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