Dealing With Death

Most every day in class I ask a few questions to kind of get things started. They might have something to do with the days or they might not. I've asked a wide range of questions and as you can imagine I've gotten a wide range of answers from these teenagers.
Recently I asked some questions about death. Teaching a world religions course we look at how the different religions look at death, so I asked three questions to get my students thinking. These were the questions I asked...

     1. What do you believe happens to humans after they die?
     2. How have you come to this belief?
     3. Is death something you fear? Why or why not?

Most students gave the expected answers. They believe we either go to heaven or hell with a few mentioning purgatory. That they learned this from parents, the church or religion class. Most were somewhat afraid of death, with hoping not to die young for fear of not doing enough on earth. Pretty standard answers until I got to a student who has bugged me all year.

Here are this students answers to the three questions...

     1. Undecided

     2. There’s so many different beliefs and stories that say what happens. Too much to sift through. I’d rather just not waste my time until I’m faced with it

     3. Yes, because it’s unknown. You can control most things in your life and how to happen, but not death.

The answer to #2 has really gotten to me. I give this student credit in saying what others would not or do not fully comprehend. Most teenagers live this way anymore. Well, honestly, many adults do as well. That mentality is frustrating to me though, and again, I feel almost powerless to help change it. 

Death is not a problem, it is something we will all face. Yet so many don't want to think about what is to happen after death. There are a great number of feet firmly planted in this world with no desire to look heavenward until they feel they absolutely have to.

I've been thinking about death a great deal lately. Only a few hours after I wrote my last post my grandfather passed away.

Rest in peace Pop. I love you.

The Cross is Steady

The Carthusian order of monks have a motto: Stat crux dum volvitur orbis, which in Latin means, “The Cross is steady while the world is turning.”

My world is turning right now. Back home in Montana my grandfather is dying. Dementia has been slowly affecting him for the last 4 to 5 years but it has been rapidly speeding up as of late. My grandmother has thankfully been getting more help. It seems to figure that as soon as she has gotten help he has started to quickly deteriorate. 

Since I left home in August there has been the worry of sad news coming every time my cell phone has rung. That feeling looms even deeper now that I truly know that that call will be coming sooner rather than later. 

That was a choice I had to make over the summer. How much of it was really my decision, in the end, I really cannot tell. The need to get back into doing some kind of ministry drove me only a year ago now. I could have taken a job closer to home, but this job seemed like a better fit. I honestly thought it would probably be easier as well (my laziness has unfortunately guided too many of my decisions in life).  So I moved over 1000 miles from home knowing that my grandfather could pass at any time. As of right now, I do not regret my decision to move. My time here teaching these students has honestly been a good thing I truly believe. The students I have worked with, at the very least, have less of a bad taste in their mouths towards God and the Catholic Church. At the recent senior retreat I truly felt like I had made an impact on them thanks in large part to their own words.  

As I have said before I've felt like my work here has been that of a missionary. Leaving home to bring to good news of Jesus Christ to those who are in need of God's love is what I have done.  This is not something I have done perfectly, but I have tried to do it with great love.

There is a statement made by Jesus to one of his disciples that has always bothered me a bit.

"Follow me, and let the dead bury their dead." - Matthew 8:22

 I feel as though I have in a sense done just this. Leaving my home to witness to the Gospel while my grandfather has wasted away has been tough. Some would say I should have stayed. At this point I believe I am meant to be where I am. The struggles my family has gone though were ones that I could not have done much to have eased. Maybe I am trying to convince my self of this. God only knows. But I do know that I will be able to return home when I am needed to help bury my grandfather and console my family. For this I am truly thankful.

So the cross remains steady, and thankfully, if I focus on that cross, the turning of the world seems less chaotic.

Peace all