Lord, I Want To See

Unfortunately I forget about the simple prayer of Bartimaeus. Luckily we hear it in mass about once a year I think (I'm not a liturgist), so the yearly reminder is much appreciated.
Wanting to see is such a simple thing. For Bartimaeus, it was all about his physical sight. I'm sure everyone who has heard a homily about this gospel passage knows that it means more than just physical sight for the rest of us. I get that.
Today I honestly did pray to be able to see; to see something very specific in my life. This very specific thing has huge implications on my life and where it might lead. For myself, today, I asked God to help me see the path He needs me to take with a specific person.
Am I being called to continue the path I have chosen or does God need me to give up everything and take a different path. I'm all for taking the more difficult path, but I really really want to know which path God needs me on.
Thankfully, this situation has lead to an increase in my prayer life and it's also serving as another reminder that I need to be patient.
Bartimaeus was blind for most of his life so I guess I can be patient for a few months or a year a two.

Peace all

When It Rains It Pours

I've been single for a while, which has been a good thing. A relationship would not have been something I would have been able to handle very well with my own internal struggles and growing pains. It helped that I lived in town where I was the young adult population, so temptation was very limited. But now, I'm in a town full of young single adults. After a summer of being surrounded by amazing people, when I got home and started the next chapter of my life I felt a great deal of loneliness.  That lead me to jump headlong into looking for a relationship.  My faith and values help me to stand out from other men my age and I'm finding women that appreciate that very much.
I've already posted about how that went at the beginning of this journey.
Now, I'm faced with a new problem. I know what I'm looking for and I know there are women out there looking for a guy like me. What I didn't realize is that I'd find a bunch of amazing women at the same time. I'd been hoping to get into a relationship that I would be able to discern, but how do I discern multiple relationships at the same time? I'm not sure there is a right answer.
At the end of the day this may not be a problem though. Ultimately I think this is an opportunity put my trust in God.
Also, the last thing I want to do is hurt any of these women, which I'm not sure is entirely possible. One of the best things I know I can do for these ladies I am meeting and getting to know is pray for them. So another good outcome from all this is that my prayers have increased. My prayer life is always in flux, but having more reasons to pray is not a bad thing at all.
The one true problem persists though. One of these amazing women is a long ways away from me and she happens to be the one pulling on my heart strings the most. I fear this will be another lesson in loss. But it might also be an opportunity for amazing self-giving and sacrifice. Only time will tell.
Until then, I'm praying more and placing my trust in God, so I'm truly blessed.

Peace all

Stop Searching and Start Finding

I started this post back in January but have not touched it since. After reading this quote somewhere I decided I wanted to remember it, so there is sat as a draft in my blog articles.
The phrase means something different to me now. Back in January I was contemplating my next move in life. I found what I wanted to do and I'm doing it. Apparently the phrase worked for me. I'm content with my decision and honestly happy about where I am right now. The future is bright.
With that in mind, I'm not going to stop. I'm figuring out what I want to do with my life but now I'd like to know who I'll be sharing my life with. I've already made the mistake of "putting all my eggs in one basket" as they say, so i'm not going to do that again. I'm finding friends and trying my best to be realistic about the way relationships work and how I personally work. Emotional chastity is something I need to work on. I'm trying to be more focused on being a friend first. If a relationship develops from a friendship, that's awesome and probably how it should be done. All that takes patience though, so that's another thing I'm working on.
The biggest thing though is I feel like I get it now. I'm finding and not just endlessly searching. With that comes loss, but that's okay. My only fear about loss is losing God, and I know that wont happen.

Peace all

FOMO

Fear of missing out... is driving me crazy.

I'm back trying the whole college thing again. I figure I'm still young, and I even look like a college kid if I shave my face regularly, so why not try it all again.

A big motivational driver for college kids is "fear of missing out". This keeps them from committing to things, hoping that something better might come along. Not committing to hanging out with one group of friends hoping that a cooler group of friends will contact them. I'm sure this leads to a lot of lonely nights for many.

Currently, I happen to be dealing with "fear of missing out" in a bit of a different way.
Being a single gentleman in my late 20's I'm finding myself checking out all avenues of ways to meet women. I've even gone as far as getting onto Tinder, the infamous "hook-up" app (though I'm not looking for a hook-up). Fear of missing out is driving me to try everything because I don't want to miss an opportunity. Maybe the woman for me will be in the next swipe right, or maybe if I don't check CatholicSingles tonight I might miss out on an amazing girl who might like me.
Fear of missing out is causing me to be impatient I'm afraid, but honestly, what if I get off all things and miss my opportunity? If I'm seeking something, shouldn't I actually seek and not just sit back and wait for it to come to me? But everyone says you'll find the right person when you aren't looking for them.
My mind is an endless hamster wheel over this. And it doesn't help that there are beautiful women all over campus, which is not helping me in my trying not to look.

Peace all