Who Am I?

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I'm just a guy trying to trust in God and be the best I can be for God and others, then myself.

Friday, April 15, 2016

A Song For All Of Us

This song popped up last as I was falling asleep. Having my ipod on random shuffle through all my music leads to some interesting combinations, but this song stands out on its own. I've actually heard Matt Maher perform it in concert, which was the first time I had heard it. 
Anyway, as Matt put it, it's a love song. He wrote it thinking about his soon to be wife at the time. But as his understanding of the song grew, he began to see that this is a song that Jesus sings to all of us. 
So one day I might sing this song to a beautiful woman, but until then and forever Jesus is singing this song to you and I.
Peace all

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Loving Embrace Like No Other

For the first time in while I was asked to be a confirmation sponsor. So last night I found myself sitting in church for a mass I hadn't been to in 12 years. The last time I was at this mass I was an altar server. The year before I had been at the mass for my own confirmation. Our diocese was in between bishops so I was confirmed by the chancellor of the diocese who was a Monsignor. But 12 years ago I was there for the mass as an altar server because my best friend and his girlfriend were getting confirmed. It's a memory I will never forget. Standing to the right of and slightly behind our new bishop, I held the oil of chrism as he confirmed many of my peers, and more importantly my best friend and his future wife.
Last night I was back. This time I was sitting as a sponsor with a wonderful young lady sitting in front of me waiting in anticipation to be confirmed by that same bishop that confirmed by friends 12 years before.
As mass went on, as usual, words of the bishops homily got me thinking. There have been many people I have been praying for recently and the word "embrace" caught my ear. I've never thought much about hugging Jesus, but when I have it was always myself Jesus was embracing. But last night I imagined Jesus embracing those that I've been praying for and that image brought me more joy than I can explain or understand. My mind almost raced as I went through each image in my mind of Jesus lovingly embracing all the people I care so much more, some I've met and some I've never met.
More and more each day I'm coming to understand that I need to place my trust in Jesus and I also need to understand that Jesus loves those that I love infinitely more than I can, so I need to trust in Him when it comes to those that I love.
I long for everyone to experience the loving embrace of Jesus.

Peace all

Monday, April 11, 2016

Being A Lonely Sign

Father said something during his homily this morning that got me thinking. I honestly don't remember much else of what he said, and I can't give a direct quote. He gave a sentence about signs and how they are not meant to be the end goal, they are meant to point to point to something greater.
I get that and it makes total sense to me. When you're driving you don't stop at the sign that tells you where to turn, you turn at the sign and keep going. Signs are meant to direct and even give hope that there is something greater ahead.

This got me thinking about how I've been a sign for others. I sincerely hope that I have been a sign for the youth I've ministered to, hopefully pointing them to God. That is the greatest and most crucial job of the youth minister or theology teacher, or it is for me at least.
But how have I been a sign for others?

Was I pulled into the life of a young mother for almost four months only to be a sign for her that there are good guys out there?
Is my profile on a Catholic dating site just there give hope to women who are searching, but aren't searching as far as Montana?
I'm I destined to continue to be a lonely sign?
Have I been a sign to my friends that trusting in God takes time because I still don't know what to do with my life?
Did I feel the need to come back home only to be a sign to my family that I haven't figured out anything yet but I'm still a good kid?

I just want to be a sign that points to Jesus, but I don't know how I'm being asked to be that sign right now.

Peace all

Monday, April 4, 2016

The Unknowns Are Many

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
~Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude

It's good to have friends that know a bit of what you are going through. Another evening and a couple of beers with a good friend led to some good insights and this prayer from Thomas Merton which pretty much sums up my life right now.
The next few months might hold some big changes in my life. I'm looking at jobs in the Mid-west in my field of study. Whether I will get offered a job or not, or if I take said possible offer is a complete unknown to me. The possibility of staying home in Montana also holds many unknowns.
So I'm at a loss, while also trying to do something and hoping I'm doing God's will.

Peace all